Detox diets promise big weight loss, but they don’t work

Detox diets, also called "cleansing diets," may not work as advertised.
Detox diets, also called "cleansing diets," may not work as advertised.

I remember my first cleanse vividly.

After months of gorging on French bread, brie, potato chips and more beer than I care to admit, my pants no longer fit. Even my spandex felt tight -- a testament to my willingness to consume anything and everything while studying abroad. That's when I knew it was time for a change.

And I wanted a quick fix.

One simple search on the Internet for "lose weight now" led me to a 10-day liquid diet consisting only of "lemonade." Apparently Beyonce drank the Kool-Aid (err, lemonade) and lost 20 pounds.

It's perfect, I thought. My roommate agreed, and we decided to embark on our first cleansing journey together.

Hours later, we were back in our flat with countless lemons, a huge tub of Grade B maple syrup, cayenne, several jugs of purified water and a bottle of sea salt (for what I fondly started to call the saltwater flush from hell). Game on.

The first glass was fine: The spicy-sweet mixture was oddly satisfying. The prospect of dropping 20 pounds in 10 days probably helped make it taste even sweeter.

A full day of cleansing came and went. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't what I was hoping for, either. I didn't feel skinnier -- or tortured.

Day 2, I was miserable. I had no energy. I felt as though I was suffering from a rare disorder in which a parasite eats at you, and my patience level was at an all-time low. After walking two miles to work, I thought I was going to collapse. On top of my lack of physical stamina, I had close to zero brainpower. Staring at my blank computer screen felt as strenuous as running a marathon in a snowstorm; hilarious email chats were the most annoying things I'd ever read.

I hated everyone. I hated the cleanse. I hadn't lost weight.

By Day 4, my friends abandoned me, my spandex still felt as though it was going to burst at the seams, and the sight of anything edible made me hallucinate.

Then I found evidence of sandwich consumption under my roommate's bed. She had been cheating. And she wasn't ashamed.

"You're insane and this is stupid," she said.

She had a point. An hour later, we were in a bar, beers in hand and burgers in our mouths. Life was good again.

I tried that cleanse again three more times and followed the rules more closely: The first go-round, I'd skipped prep, didn't listen to my body when it was tired, gave up after four days and skipped the phase-out process, too.

But the results were the same: I was hungry, irritable, weak and low on brainpower.

Many who have (as we put it) "cleansed" say those feelings pass and are replaced by energy, stamina and bliss -- but that wasn't the case for me. I did lose a few pounds, but they came back (plus more) as soon as I started eating solid foods.

Maybe it was that particular cleanse, I decided. I needed to try something else.

At this point, I've done seven cleanses. Seven. I experimented with brands, cleanse types, phase-in and phase-out strategies, exercising and not exercising -- you name the cleanse, I've tried it. But just like my personality, my body is stubborn. And every time I've limited my intake to liquids, my body simply wanted food -- real, solid, nutrient-dense food.

So why did I continue to mess with myself?

For one, I love trying trends, new diets and exotic means of trying to reach my full physical and mental potential. I also love food, eating a lot of it and having a few drinks to help wash it all down. Naturally, that can lead to weight gain, and instead of being patient and getting back on track, sometimes I want an easy way to regain the shape I used to be used to (and to get out of elastic pants).

Plus I have a history of injuries, and as an athlete, I find it can be difficult to adjust food intake to a body that isn't hitting the gym six days a week.

Cleansing will solve all those problems, right?

Wrong. And here's why:

1. The human body needs protein and fiber.

Protein is often associated with gaining serious muscle, it's necessary for anybody who has cells -- weightlifters and yogis alike. Not only does protein help muscles recover, it also helps promote a healthy weight by keeping you full and fueled.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website "Nutrition for Everyone," proteins are part of "every cell, tissue and organ in our bodies." These body proteins are constantly being broken down and we need to eat sources of new proteins so we can replace what we've lost.

Sadly, juice provides little to no protein (unless you're doing a cleanse that includes nut milk or juiced legumes).

As for fiber, most people don't get enough even eating solids. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine's MedlinePlus, dietary fiber is a type of carbohydrate found in plants that "makes you feel full faster, helping you control your weight. It helps digestion and helps prevent constipation."

Notice that? Fiber helps to control weight.

If constipation, low energy and frequent hunger pangs aren't reason enough to make you reluctant to skip fiber because you're cleansing, consider this: Dietary fiber reduces the risk of cardiovascular disease, according to the American Heart Association.

Many fruits have a healthful serving of fiber, but the process of juicing them effectively screens out the fiber before it can make it into your cup.

The one thing you're still getting plenty of in juices is sugar.

Which leads me to my next point ...

2. Eating fruit is more healthful than drinking it.

While juice cleanses may seem like an easy way to load up on vitamins and minerals, they're often full of added sugars and devoid of the good stuff (such as fiber and antioxidants).

Juicing fresh fruits doesn't necessarily remove their vitamins, but why guzzle several hundred calories' worth of fruit when you can eat one serving of whole fruit and actually feel full?

3. Juice is expensive.

Cleansing, whether you're making the juice at home or buying a prepackaged juice, can cost a pretty penny. In fact, for the price of the average cleanse, you could buy two weeks' worth of groceries. (The industry standard start-up three-day cleanse runs between $60 and $200, according to "Are juice cleanses worth the cost?" a June 26, 2014, article in U.S. News & World Report: Health.)

"But if I'm going to eat no calories, I prefer to spend no dollars," as health writer Eizabeth Preston put it in her blog "Inkfish."

Why not cut back on booze and caffeine for a week and splurge on a massage or class package at your favorite fitness studio instead of hopping on another cleanse? And because studies have found few actual health benefits to so-called detox diets, including cleanses, you're essentially throwing your hard-earned cash to the wind.

4. Crash diets don't work.

Losing 12 pounds in two weeks may sound great, but it's tough to keep it off. When you deprive yourself of sugar and carbohydrates, the likelihood of eventually returning to old habits, and bingeing in the process, is high.

The smarter option, according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics (eatright.org, formerly the American Dietetic Association): Make small, meaningful changes, such as cutting back on processed foods and drinking more water, one at a time.

5. Cleansing makes you feel crummy.

Sure, if you read the testimonials published under online descriptions of this or that cleanse diet, you'll see more than several claiming that the results were wonderful: "My body has never looked better." "My mind has never been clearer." "I have more energy than a puppy."

While peppy wishes may come true for some, for others -- like me -- they have not.

Registered dietitian Marjorie Nolan Cohn told the Boston Globe (bit.ly/1FE9IxF) that after a few days of fasting, "At some point your body shuts down that feeling of immediate hunger, you become lightheaded and dizzy, and that euphoric feeling starts to come on. I work with a lot of anorexics, and they feel euphoria, too."

The lack of nutrients in juice cleanses can cause hunger, fatigue, lightheadedness, dizziness, a rapid heartbeat, temperature fluctuations, impatience and a whole slew of discomforts. And to think: This is what you're choosing to do and paying to do.

Thanks, but no thanks. I'll take feeling awesome for free.

6. Your body detoxes itself naturally.

After you overindulge, purging your system of toxins with a cleanse sounds appealing. But that's what our organs are for. The liver, kidneys and colon remove things the body doesn't need.

Eating healthfully helps them do their daily routines of detoxing us efficiently: Reducing how much nutrition and fiber move through the system slows them down, because starvation lowers metabolic rate overall.

In other words, cleansing impedes detoxing.

Celia Storey added information to this story, which was excerpted from Greatist.com.

ActiveStyle on 06/29/2015

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