Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. Sunday. Springing forward, we'll all lose an hour.
Fine by us. It's 60 less minutes we'll have to spend doing any of the following undesirable things:
• Eating salad. According to a recent article from TheDailyBeast.com, women on death row often request lighter veggie fare as part of their last meal: "Last meals reveal gendered differences in culinary indulgence that persist even in the face of death." Even Georgia murderer Kelly Gissendaner, whose rescheduled execution was to take place Monday night, ordered two Whoppers with cheese, two large orders of fries, cornbread, buttermilk, popcorn, cherry-vanilla ice cream ... and a salad with boiled eggs, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, carrots and cheese, with Paul Newman's buttermilk dressing. Surely the dressing was to be "on the side."
• Reading death hoaxes. Singers Beyonce, Willie Nelson, Mark McGrath and actor Gene Hackman are all still alive. What great news to their fans. And what bad news to anyone who just lost $5 in their celebrity death pool.
• Crunching on coffee cups. Over in Great Britain, KFC is selling Seattle's Best Coffee served in a new, no-waste edible cookie coffee cup (choice of Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?) made from a wafer, coated in sugar paper and lined with heat-resistant white chocolate. What's next? Chicken buckets fabricated from potato wedges? And how fast can we get those here?
• Cold dieting. It's the trendy cool way, literally, to lose weight: Exposure to cold weather via methods including cryotherapy. A three-minute treatment in minus-264 degrees at New York business KryoLife could burn up to 800 calories, according to New York magazine. Strange, after the last two weeks of cold weather in Arkansas, we've all gained weight from pizza and cheese dip.
• Sleeping. Our slumber hasn't been the same since learning that Kim Kardashian's baby daughter North West sleeps in a $250,000 custom crib with pricey and impractical Eiderdown silk linens, according to HollywoodLife.com.
• Sipping water. Hydrating also is not the same, learning that the pure bottled water we drink is the same stuff that North West bathes in, according to HollywoodLife.com.
• Reading HollywoodLife.com
• Reading Drew Barrymore's new memoir. It's not out yet, but why would we buy it when all the interesting stuff about her brushes with alcohol, drugs and rehab was already covered in her autobiography Little Girl Lost at age 14.
• Obsessing over germs. As if we needed another reason to curse weather, a report on ABC's Good Morning America showed that of 27 samples of winter gloves tested, 26 contained bacteria and nine tested positive for more harmful bacteria, including staph and MRSA (methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus). Be sure to disinfect your gloves and avoid touching them to your face, or else you could end up in a place where they wear surgical gloves. Are those even clean?
• Being a bridesmaid/wedding usher. A British couple broke two world records by having 130 bridesmaids and 100 ushers at their wedding (the previous records were 47 ushers and 126 bridesmaids). Which had to break a few other records: Longest wedding photo session. Longest procession. Longest printed program. And most number of awful never-to-be-worn-again dresses at one time.
• Dressing each other down. And speaking of dresses, I will say it until I am blue (or is that white?) in the face, the color of the dress that went viral was blue/black and not white/gold. Stop telling those little white (or are they blue?) lies!
Hurry, you'll have an hour less time to email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 03/03/2015