It took a month and a trip to Turkey, but Marshawn Lynch has finally weighed in on the most controversial call in Super Bowl history.
"I'm just here so Bigfoot won't fine me," he said.
Lynch didn't say those exact words, but it is now obvious he believes Pete Carroll was the second gunman in the JFK assassination. Carroll was 12 and living in California at the time, but what's to say he didn't skip school that day and sneak onto the grassy knoll?
As preposterous as that sounds, Lynch's take on why the Seattle Seahawks didn't give him the ball on the 1-yard line is almost as crazy.
"When you look at me, and you let me run that ball in ... I am the face of the nation," he said. "You know, MVP of the Super Bowl."
Translation: The NFL wanted clean-cut QB Russell Wilson to be MVP, not the dreadlocked crotch-grabbing Lynch, who is famous for saying nothing.
A few Seahawks anonymously endorsed the Marshawn conspiracy theory after the game, but that could be dismissed as blind frustration. After a month of reflection, you'd think they would realize they sound like members of the Flat Earth Society.
But last week, former Seahawks receiver Ben Obomanu told a Seattle radio station that a few players are still buying in.
"Some guys have expressed that same concept of actually believing that the organization in some kind of way was trying to allow Russell Wilson to be the star," he said.
Lynch chimed in during an NFL promotional tour stop in Istanbul. Roger Goodell apparently doesn't mind him being the face of Turkey, but never mind. The 27-minute interview was on NTV Spor, that country's version of ESPN. If you play the tape backward, you can hear "Russell is dead."
Note to those who don't keep up with conspiracy theories: You should, for amusement's sake. In this case, if you play the Beatles' A Day in the Life backward, you'll supposedly hear the words "Paul is dead."
That's in reference to Mr. McCartney, last spotted three weeks ago performing in New York City. It's even easier to debunk the Marshawn conspiracy spawned by that fateful second-and-goal from the 1.
If Carroll didn't want Lynch to score, why did he give him the ball a play earlier? Seattle expected New England would stack the line to stop the run, only to be duped by the evil genius, Bill Belichick.
X's and O's aside, would any coach throw away a Super Bowl just to keep a player from becoming MVP? Besides, the MVP voting was over when the play was run.
Bottom line -- bad call, bad throw. Castro and/or the mafia didn't do it.
If you want to believe otherwise, however, the only thing that might change your mind would be if the Loch Ness Monster told you Wilson merely threw a poor pass.
Crazy denial is what makes 9-11 truthers and Area 51 fanatics so amusing to the sane world. But it's a real problem for Carroll, who was dealing with Wilson Envy before the Super Bowl.
Some players reportedly resented the quarterback for being so polished, well-mannered and chummy with management. It's no coincidence that perpetual locker-room cancer Percy Harvin was traded to the Jets for a used jockstrap last season.
Now Lynch is spreading conspiracy theories around the world, and in a reverse way he's putting up a pretty good argument.
The NFL didn't want him to be the face of the nation. The more Marshawn opens his mouth, the more you understand why.
Sports on 03/04/2015