I've got to stop hanging out on social media so much. Facebook, especially.
Burning a lot of time on Facebook is not a good thing if all you're doing is scrolling your news feed to see what everyone else is doing. Sooner or later, you're likely to feel as though the world is passing you by.
Facebook has been especially bad for my worsening case of wanderlust and mounting frustration over being stuck in our otherwise fair city due to limitations on time and finances. In my Dec. 28 column, which suggested travel as a New Year's resolution, I resolved to follow my own suggestion. So far so bad: Still haven't left the state since May. Meanwhile, many of my gazillion Facebook "friends" seem to have the time and resources to not only travel, but do so to far-flung locales. Envy and jealousy are not sins I care to commit, so I decided it might be best to take what I'm calling a "FaceBreak."
In light of this, I wasn't surprised to see "Stop hanging out on social media so much" as No. 6 in a list of "10 Ways to Get Happy," a CNN.com story by Katia Hetter that ran on March 20 -- a day designated the International Day of Happiness by the United Nations.
Hetter's story quotes Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside and author of The Myths of Happiness: What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does (Penguin Books, $16). Lyubomirsky "estimates that half of people's happiness is determined by their genes, about 10 percent can be attributed to differences in life circumstances or situations, and about 40 percent of our happiness is up to us -- although it varies by person."
The story goes into 10 suggestions to stoke the fires of that 40-percent happiness source, with reasons and explanations following each item. Regarding No. 6, heavy social media users have indicated that they suffer from such issues as lower self-esteem, fewer positive emotions, and "upward social comparison" that leaves people feeling worse about themselves, according to Timothy Bono, assistant dean and lecturer in psychology at Washington University. Well, there ya go.
The other Ways to Get Happy are fairly predictable, and related. No. 1 and No. 2 have been preached multiple times in this space, and need to be practiced more by the preacher: Practice kindness (doing something for somebody else ... a wonderful spirits-lifter) and keep a gratitude journal (counting your blessings ... on paper).No. 3: Get spiritual. (Get involved in your place of faith, or if you're not the spiritual type, get involved in "ethical societies and movements.") No. 4: Buy experiences, not stuff, and No. 5: Buy stuff that creates experiences. Right. Instead of buying tangible items, spend your money on such things as ... travel!!!! If you want to buy something tangible, buy ... travel gear!!! Er, moving on ...
No. 7 on the list falls along the lines of No. 6: Stop checking your email. That's hard to do, the story goes, but checking your email less will help cut down in your stress level. (Ironically, much of my email is junk mail generated by all the trips I've signed up to win.)
No. 8: Focus on time, not money. The former is a valuable resource, too. Keep that in mind, and you'll be less likely to blow your time on stupid stuff. (If you have very little free time, definitely don't blow it on Facebook scrolling.) No. 9: Lose yourself in your activities. (Once you find the valuable time, engage in a self-losing activity, that is.)
Ah, then there's No. 10: Embrace failure. "Failing is a way to learn what doesn't work before we learn what does work," Hetter writes. Welllll, there's that thing that you might still be working to succeed at after 35 years, in which case you might have already embraced it in a bad way: an oh-well shrug and resignation/depression. Don't go there. Keep trying for success. (Note to self: That includes looking for ways to do you-know-what.)
My post-FaceBreak plan? Avoid mindless news-feed scrolling. Use the medium to practice suggestion No. 1 on the list: Post and share things to help boost others' feel-goodness. Possibly starting with a link to Hetter's list.
One way to send email:
hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style on 03/29/2015