Commentary

What was ref thinking? Take your pick

We've all seen the replays.

Back judge Greg Wilson was in a crouch, in perfect position, staring directly at the play. That's when he botched the biggest call of the season for the Detroit Lions.

What in the world was he thinking? How did he miss it?

I have an idea of what might have been going through his mind:

"I can't believe this team is coming back on Seattle. Don't they know who they are? They are the freakin' Lions. And the Lions stink. It says so right here in this official, super-duper secret NFL memo."

"Shiny objects. So many shiny objects in the stands."

"Man, Matthew Stafford is good in the two-minute offense. Why don't they scrap the run and do that all of the time?"

"Look at this. Wow. What a play. Did Calvin Johnson reach across the goal line? Did he? Man, I don't know. Thank goodness that's not my call."

"Man alive, what a play by Chancellor. That guy is ridiculous."

"Seattle is so good at that, punching the ball out."

"You know what I want right now? Some popcorn."

"Look at that ball, bouncing through the end zone. Prettiest thing I've ever seen. Thank goodness. It's gonna be Seattle's ball."

"Pretty ball, pretty ball. Look at the bouncing ball. The season is over for the Lions. Toss some dirt on the grave."

"I'm gonna make my dinner plans."

"Thank goodness this game is not going to overtime."

"My feet hurt."

"My back is achin.'"

"Why do they start these games so late?"

"I can't wait to get back to the hotel to get a hot tub. Maybe, I'll get a massage."

"Wow. Look at that. What did K.J. Wright do?"

"Oh, man, there's that rule. The bat rule. It looked like he batted it."

"Clear as day."

"You gotta throw the flag."

"No, man, my feet hurt. I wanna get back to my hotel. I still haven't seen the new episode of Homeland. I think they are going to show it again on Showtime."

"You gotta throw the flag. First down, Lions. Inside the 1."

"Maybe it wasn't intentional, intentional."

"Do the right thing."

"It wasn't a bat, bat, batty bat bat."

"No, maybe, it was more like a flick. Or maybe, it was a push. What is that rule again? It's about batting a ball. Not a slight push. What's the difference between a bat and a push? A push and a bat? And besides, I can't crawl inside his head. What are his intentions?"

"It's obvious! Do the right thing!"

"Oh, man, these fans are wild. If I make this call, they are going to go nuts. They are gonna throw crap at me."

"You gotta make that call!"

"What about replay? Will they look at this? Nope. This is a judgment call. My judgment. Crystal clear."

"If I make this call, I'm gonna need a team of security guards to get out of this stadium. And it's so loud I can barely hear myself think."

"Nobody should lose a game on this kind of call. It has to be iron clad. Maybe, it wasn't intentional. Yeah, that's my story. He didn't intend to unintentionally push, not bat the ball. Got me? He clearly pushed it. That's my story."

"Maybe nobody will notice. It's a weird, obscure rule. I'll bet the Lions don't even know about it."

"The truth. You can't handle the truth. The truth is, the NFL wants me on that wall. You need me on that wall. You need me to make this call."

"What's the worst thing that can happen to me? I might get a letter of reprimand. I'm above this game. It is me and me alone who decides who wins. The game revolves around me."

"And besides, the Lions would have lost. Even if the Lions score from the 1, Wilson had all kinds of time. He would have led the Seahawks back downfield. I'm just putting the Lions out of their misery early, so all their fans can go to bed. This is a mercy killing."

"I'm just saving everybody a whole bunch of time. Seattle is going to kneel a few times and this puppy is history."

"And besides, the Lions are gonna thank me for this. Everybody will be so focused on this rule that it will take some heat of Jim Caldwell. Fans will forget that the Lions still can't run the ball. And they had so many penalties it was crazy. Legit penalties. A team can't win with that many boneheaded mistakes."

"And besides, Seattle can't lose. That was right there in that super-duper secret NFL memo I got. That's why the NFL gave the Lions such a ridiculous schedule. Four tough games to start. Three road games. Two West Coast trips. Nobody wins when the Lions win. But everybody wins when those wonderful Seahawks win."

"It's settled. I've decided."

"Seattle wins."

Sports on 10/07/2015

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