DEAR ABBY: I am marrying a wonderful man I love dearly. We have planned a dream wedding for ourselves rather quickly. I secured the venue we wanted. There was no other place or date available to us as backup. At this point, we would lose thousands if we cancel. After months of meetings and negotiations with the woman who manages the facility, I was shocked to receive a text from my last ex-boyfriend informing me that he is the new general manager of the venue, and will be my point person of contact from now on. Things did not end well in our relationship, and he still owes me money from a loan I gave him right before the breakup.
This is extremely upsetting for me. I can't imagine having to plan my wedding with someone who mistreated me and took advantage of me, nor do I want to see him on my wedding day. How do I express this to the staff I worked with until this point so that I won't sound bitter or petty?
I know people can't steal our happiness unless we let them, but he was not part of the equation when we chose this location, and we can't move our nuptials to avoid him. Please help me see a way out of this.
-- Blushing Bride
DEAR B.B.: If you have been working with a wedding planner, that person could be the point of contact with this man rather than you. If you don't have one, you and your fiance should contact your ex and tell him that you both prefer he have no part in planning the wedding and you would prefer he remain out of sight when it occurs.
If he gives you any trouble, contact the owner of the facility, explain your predicament and ask that person to intervene. If that's problematic, then you may have to involve a lawyer to see what your options are.
DEAR ABBY: Why do women spend half their lives in search of the perfect man? And then when they find him, spend the other half trying to change him?
-- Inquiring Mind
DEAR INQUIRING MIND: I suspect it's for the same reason a man will buy a beautiful, expensive new car and then customize it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069
High Profile on 09/06/2015