"There she is, Miss America ...
"There she is, your ideal."
If you know the tune and picture Bert Parks crooning it, congratulations. You're among those who can recall the glory days of the Miss America pageant.
Parks was a master host and sang the pageant's closing theme song from 1955 to 1979 as the weeping, newly crowned Miss America clasped her hand to her mouth, trembled a bit with emotion, then strolled down the walkway holding roses and waving and mouthing, "Thank you. Thank you."
It was an annual iconic moment on the tube and one that will repeat live from Atlantic City's Boardwalk Hall at 8 p.m. today on ABC.
No host could fill Park's shoes after he "retired." The pageant tried everyone, including Regis Philbin, Boomer Esiason, Tony Danza, Wayne Brady and Mario Lopez. This year we get Chris Harrison (The Bachelor) again, along with veteran co-host Brooke Burke-Charvet.
There have been other tweaks and changes over the years as interest in the pageant waxed and waned due to cultural and societal evolution.
More of Bert's archaic theme song lyrics:
"The dream of a million girls who are more than pretty
Can come true in Atlantic City,
For she may turn out to be
The queen of femininity."
Due to slipping ratings, ABC dropped the pageant after 2004, and then the pageant abandoned Atlantic City for the brighter lights of Las Vegas.
The once must-see TV pageant wound up on cable's lowly CMT channel, then on TLC, home of Honey Boo Boo, 19 Kids, My Five Wives, and America's Worst Tattoos.
More quirky theme song lyrics:
"With so many beauties she took the town by storm
With her all-American face and form
And there she is
Walking on air, she is
Fairest of the fair, she is
There she is -- Miss America."
Ah, thanks Bert. It hasn't been the same without you.
ABC came back to the rescue in 2011, and this year the pageant moves back home to Atlantic City.
But ABC isn't even calling it a pageant. The program is being billed as The 2016 Miss America Competition. Miss America officials still emphasize that it's a "scholarship pageant."
Whatever it is, let's hope someone outside of New York will take the crown this year. Miss New York has won the past three years and it's beginning to look like the fix is in.
Want to root for the home team? This year that would be 22-year-old Miss Arkansas 2015 Loren McDaniel of Van Buren.
The recent graduate of the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville has a bachelor of arts degree in theater, and her platform is "Confidently You," with the goal to help raise awareness of and prevent domestic violence.
Odd fact: Loren grew up showing cattle.
And as we all know, it usually takes a pageant pro to bring home the Miss Arkansas title and Loren is no exception. She was Miss Arkansas River 2013, Miss Spirit of Arkansas 2014 and Miss Northwest Arkansas 2015 before being crowned Miss Arkansas.
Now she's up for the Big Dance.
The judges for this year's Miss America competition are actress/author Danica McKellar (The Wonder Years); country star Brett Eldredge; Taya Kyle, author and widow of "American Sniper" Chris Kyle; entrepreneur Kevin O'Leary (Shark Tank); 2014 Paralympic snowboarding bronze medalist Amy Purdy; and actress/singer Zendaya.
Nick Jonas will serve as the official "music curator" of the evening, whatever that means. Sounds like a made-up job just to use his name, but he'll be selecting the music that accompanies the swimsuit and evening wear competitions.
Maybe he'll sing the old Bert Parks theme song. That'd be swell.
• Dance fever. It's time once again to begin the competition for the coveted mirror ball. Dancing With the Stars kicks off Season 21 at 7 p.m. Monday on ABC.
Here's your list of dancing stars for the next round. They run the gamut of all the familiar categories -- legendary entertainer and has-been celebrity to former jocks and folks you never heard of.
The most interesting contestant is Alek Skarlatos, one of the three Americans who overpowered a terrorist on a Paris-bound train last month. Skarlatos' 15 minutes of hero fame blazes on.
Others on board are Southern-fried chef Paula Deen, weird actor Gary Busey and Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin.
Others include Spy Kids actress Alexa PenaVega and her actor/singer husband, Carlos PenaVega; singers Andy Grammer, Chaka Khan and Nick Carter; 15-year-old online sensation Hayes Grier (ask your kids); reality stars Kim Zolciak Biermann and Tamar Braxton; and Triple Crown-winning jockey Victor Espinoza.
The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email:
mstorey@arkansasonline.com
Style on 09/13/2015