It's the million-dollar question. Well, the $10 question that has become the $1 million question.
"Earlier this year, the Treasury Department announced that a woman will appear on the $10 bill. What woman would you like to see on the $10 bill?" That's how it was posed to presidential hopefuls at last week's second Republican Party debate.
Has CNN, which hosted the debate, been watching a lot of beauty pageants lately? The same question had been asked at the days-earlier Miss America pageant, as well as the Miss USA pageant in July. The responses weren't much better.
In June, Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew announced that a newly redesigned $10 note to be unveiled in 2020 will feature a woman in addition to -- not instead of -- Alexander Hamilton. Since then, the issue has been which woman? While Lew, who will announce the selection later this year, has the final decision over the design, he's seeking social media input via thenew10.treasury.gov and the hashtag #TheNew10.
Here's hoping Lew is not turning to debates (note: I'm an independent, equal-opportunity wisecracker; I'll dis the Democrats when they inevitably flub their answers too) and pageant Q&A portions for inspiration. Because so far, most of the dollar bill nominations lack any "cents."
Please allow us to teach a brief lesson, How Not to Answer the Woman-on-the-$10-Bill Question:
• Don't nominate living family members.
It was cute at the debate when former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee joked he'd put wife Janet on the $10 bill: "I've been married to her 41 years. She's fought cancer and lived through it. She's raised three kids and five great-grandkids. And she's put up with me. I mean, who else could possibly be on that money other than my wife? And then that way she could spend her own money with her face!" Corny, but cute.
But, there is one major criterion that people appearing on currency must meet: They have to be dead. So don't nominate your wife, unless you'd rather not have her around to serve as first lady.
Same thing about the first daughter, Donald Trump. Your daughter Ivanka is lovely, and she designs great accessories, but suggesting she be on the $10 bill (has she even seen currency that insignificant?) is silly. But feel free to attach her picture to your $10 bills -- you're worth 400 million of them.
• Don't pick TV personalities.
Once, again, currency subjects have to be dead. And while she's a strong, successful, benevolent career woman, Oprah (chosen by two Miss USA contestants) is alive, as is Ellen DeGeneres (chosen by a Miss America contender).
And besides, suggesting a daytime talk show host makes you look like the kind of person who watches television -- safe, sort-of-boring television -- all day.
Now, because I do watch TV all day (when "research" duties call), I nominate Wendy Williams! How you doin', President Wendy?
• Don't choose someone already chosen.
Suffragist Susan B. Anthony was a respectable answer, Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky. But a redundant one. She's already featured on a coin. Are you saying she's American history's only deserving dollar mama?
• Don't answer by not answering the question.
Carly Fiorina, the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard and the only woman taking part in the GOP debate, said, "I wouldn't change the $10 bill. ... I think, honestly, it's a gesture. I don't think it helps to change our history. What I would think is that we ought to recognize that women are not a special interest group. Women are the majority of this nation."
Spoken like a woman who doesn't have an answer. Or a woman who wants to one day see herself on the $100,000 bill -- after all, she's worth 590 of those.
• Don't select someone who isn't from here.
When former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush answered the question, he started with, "I would go with Ronald Reagan's partner." Aww, Nancy Reagan. Well, that's nice (even though she, too, is still alive).
Then he continued his answer: "Margaret Thatcher. Probably illegal, but what the heck?" He added about the late former prime minister of the United Kingdom, "Since it's not going to happen. A strong leader is what we need in the White House, and she certainly was a strong leader that restored the United Kingdom into greatness." Enough about the UK, what about the U.S.?
Ohio Gov. John Kasich thinks the perfect choice for American currency is a Macedonia-born woman who spent most of her life in India. "Well, it's probably not, maybe, legal, but, I would pick Mother Teresa. ... An inspiration to everyone when we think about our responsibility to love our neighbor as we love ourselves." Ahem, neighbors you know, like the people near you.
You couldn't show a little love for a female American trailblazer? Besides, is money the best way to memorialize a missionary who took a vow of poverty and dedicated her life to the poor?
At the Miss USA pageant, one contestant chose Sisters of Mercy founder Catherine McAuley. A true all-American choice ... had McAuley been American, not Irish.
If you want to look like you support American women, try supporting American women!
Send your 2 cents to:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood.
Style on 09/22/2015