RESTAURANT REVIEW: Bash better as a food truck

We don't want to bash Bash Burger Co.

We know the burger joint, which started life as a Benton-based food truck and recently opened a brick-and-mortar eatery in the west Little Rock strip location best known for formerly housing Bruno's Little Italy, has its following.

But we encountered some problems with the place, starting with the atmosphere, or lack thereof. Save for a couple of easy-to-miss logo stickers that barely stand out on the windows still wearing remnants of bygone businesses, there are no signs yet (Bash is the place next to Southwest Funding in The Colonnade shopping center). There are no hours posted on the door or on menus, nor are they prominent on Facebook, so we didn't realize they were closed Mondays until we wasted a trip.

A lack of visitors and music (except some sad country that eventually filled the room during the end of one meal) gave the place a lonely, low-energy vibe. With the exception of the chalkboard that greets takeout diners, there's nothing on the walls but uncovered, blinding light bulbs, and the two- and four-top tables behind the front counter are homely.

One table we were led to had an overlay covering an old, frayed coffee sack that seemed more shabby and less chic. The other had ... well, we don't know what was on it. Some kind of goo that hardened some time ago.

"The table is not dirty, it's just ugly," the woman who seated us said cheerfully.

Here's hoping they spruce up the place. Until then, we can't recommend the business as anything more than a carryout location. Not when there are plenty of more pleasant places nearby serving decent burgers (David's Burgers, Five Guys, Purple Cow, etc.).

Another problem is inventory control, which is to be expected at a new restaurant.

All selections come with a side. But our first visit, the restaurant was out of sides, all sides: fries, macaroni and cheese and onion rings (all $2.49 when purchased separately). We appreciated their acknowledging that and giving us a 30 percent discount upfront, but we would have appreciated sides more.

Bash Burger's menu is burgers: single, double, triple and specialty burgers ($8.99-$11.99) with toppings galore. Regular toppings such as lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion and sauces are free. Toppings like queso, jalapenos, onion strings and peanut butter (!) are 50 cents. And proteiny toppings like pulled pork, bacon and a fried egg are $1. Bash also serves chicken wings ($9.99 for six, up to $23.99 for 24), chicken tenders ($6.99 for three to $8.99 for five) and chicken sandwiches ($7.99-$9.99).

In addition to its regular menu, Bash serves brunch from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sundays. Selections ($6.99-$8.99) are biscuits and gravy, the Bash Benedict, pecan waffles with bacon and eggs, Sweet and Spicy Chicken on French toast, avocado toast with eggs, bacon and eggs, and a hot chicken biscuit with fries.

Drinks, at least until a full liquor license is approved, are tea and sodas. We saw refills being poured from two-liter bottles.

Knowing we wouldn't get sides, we started dinner with an appetizer (and obviously onion rings, $3.99, were out). We began with a basket of fried pickles ($6.99), served with a plastic lidded container of ranch. We could have used a bit more ranch with our salty fried pickle coins (then again, we didn't ask for any). But we can't complain; they gave us 30 percent off this item, too, although that was not expected.

Other appetizer choices ($6.99-$8.99) are chips and queso, fried green beans and BBQ Nachos.

I told our server I'd like a Standard Man ($11.99). Her cute reply: "So would I!" What I received was a messy, flattened beast of a burger with exceptionally good bacon, American cheese, grilled fresh jalapenos, fried onion (but I thought they were out?) and queso spilling out of the better-than-average bun. This Man was too much for me to handle; I could only have half, even without a side.

My companion, grumpy that he didn't get fries and not impressed by the decor, was still pouty when his Early Riser burger ($9.99), topped with American cheese, bacon and fried egg, arrived. He'd later reveal after our visit that his co-workers went and had problems with the place. So we're going to strike his opinion from the record. It's worth noting that he did, however, eat his whole burger and the half I didn't finish.

We didn't stick around for dessert -- cheesecake by the slice ($5) or pie by the slice ($4).

The second visit, I brought a more objective friend, who ordered the Bacon Mac n Cheese burger ($10.99) and a Diamond Bear Big Rock Root Beer ("It comes out in the bottle -- no glass, no ice. That is fine, but the offer of a glass would have been nice") for lunch. Our soft-spoken server didn't have much to say to us, but did make the point to warn her that macaroni and cheese comes on this Mac n Cheese burger. ("Thanks. I guess others have been surprised by that?") It came with an additional side.

Her summary: "I realize why it may be called Bash. The burger has been bashed into a wienerschnitzel-thin meat blanket, making the burger sort of oddly interesting. While good, the burger stars were the bacon and the bun. Not a ringing endorsement for a burger joint." She deemed her onion rings -- yes, there were sides this time -- too greasy. And she found the surroundings "unsettling."

I went for chicken this time, requesting the Chicken Strip Sandwich ($7.99) tossed in Diamond Bear BBQ sauce. I couldn't detect much, really any, sauce on the chicken, which was rather dark and dry from spending a bit too long in the fryer. Maybe some of the free toppings could have helped; my bad for not ordering and the server's bad for not offering. The skin-on fries were fine.

My friend summed it up best: Food trucks "need to realize that the reason they are successful is because they can take their food to the places where their customers are.

"If you ask people to travel to you, they expect far more."

Weekend on 04/28/2016