Like It Is

No time to fret if you're stranded with Bret Bielema

Arkansas coach Bret Bielema speaks to reporters on Monday, Dec. 28, 2015, at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, Tenn.
Arkansas coach Bret Bielema speaks to reporters on Monday, Dec. 28, 2015, at the Peabody Hotel in Memphis, Tenn.

On Sunday the list of coaches you wouldn't want to be stranded on a deserted island started, and while Nick Saban might be a in a class all his own, each coach was better than the coach ranked before him.

The coach deemed easiest to be stranded with will end today's list.

7. Mark Stoops. The Kentucky head coach seems personable enough and he should have learned some things about building things since he arrived in Lexington. The Wildcats have made $125 million worth of improvements to their football facilities. He's obviously patient and hard working, but the biggest downside might be he has been around the basketball fans too much and believes he needs to share the hype.

6. Hugh Freeze. Went from Briarcrest Christian High School in Memphis to SEC head coach at Ole Miss in six years, so getting it done seems to be a strength. Plus, he was at two other schools in that short span but was always pointed homeward. Freeze did everything in his power to get back to his hometown of Oxford. Has proven to be so adept at recruiting so he could probably sell sand at the beach.

5. Jim McElwain. Florida's head coach is as likely to ask media guys how their golf game is as he is to talk about his team. Saying he makes friends everywhere he goes would be an understatement. Was obviously comfortable away from home during his rookie season at Florida, going 3-1 in true road games. He won at Colorado State, and if he can do that finding a way off a deserted island wouldn't be as difficult. Apparently wasn't at Alabama long enough to have picked up all of Saban's paranoia.

4. Gus Malzahn. The Auburn coach is resourceful, personable and the most likely coach in the SEC to find a way off an island through the air. He gets a bonus point for being from Arkansas (resourceful), although he has adapted to life on The Plains very well. If he couldn't find a way off the island fast enough, he would find a way to get his wife Kristi to him. They are best friends. Like Freeze, it took six years for Malzahn to go from high school to head coach, although his first stop was Arkansas State after Freeze left. Malzahn would give you a daily dose of religion, but he'd always pray for a way off any island.

3. Les Miles. LSU's coach is a lot of things to a lot of people, but the man can be really entertaining, although it does feel at times you need Forrest Gump to translate. If he can go into Tuscaloosa and escape with a victory, getting off a deserted island shouldn't be too much of chore. Not sure if the folks at LSU would be willing to help him get home. They were ready to dump him after last season. At least we know he won't starve to death. He's willing to eat grass.

2. Derek Mason. The Vanderbilt coach took over a difficult situation two seasons ago and appears to have found a way to build a foundation with few materials. He's funny, friendly, personable and a really hard worker.

1. Bret Bielema. Before you start yelling homer, ask yourself who you would choose to be stranded with on a deserted island? Bielema is clever, hard working and industrious. Yes, it would get tiresome hearing him say how much he misses his wife, Jen, but every rainstorm would hold the chance of sending a boat off course and toward the island. Every sunrise would be the day a rescue was possible. If it took the world's largest bonfire to get rescuer's attention, that's what he would build. There might not be a perfect partner to be paired with on a deserted island, but Bielema would be uncommon.

Sports on 08/02/2016

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