Once again, we chew on the latest freaky food news.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
Can't get enough Girl Scout Cookies? Well, they have S'more for you, with not just one, but two new campfire-treat-inspired varieties. One is a graham cookie dipped in creme icing and coated in chocolate; the other is a graham sandwich-style cookie with center layers of chocolate and marshmallow.
But they won't be not available until next cookie season. So don't bother scouting around for them until 2017.
WHOPPERITO
This burg-ito is essentially a Whopper (beef, onion, tomatoes, lettuce) minus the bun, ketchup, mustard and mayo, plus a tortilla and, for authenticity's sake, queso sauce. Oh yeah, and pickles -- they're coming to the fiesta too.
It's as if Burger King and Taco Bell had a baby -- a really big, fat (26 grams worth) baby. Burger King's latest gimmicky grub went on sale Monday. Which means, if you're reading this -- yea! -- it was not the end of the world. We were certain this had to be an ungodly, overly greasy sign.
Try it with a side of Mac n' Cheetos, Burger King's orangey "hand-held new take on classic mac n' cheese," cloaked in Cheetos dust. Make your own throne joke here.
TACO BELL
Burger King isn't the only chain getting its Cheetos on. Earlier this summer, Taco Bell began testing its Cheetos Burritos. But there's still crazier breaking news at the border: BrandEating.com reports Taco Bell Naked Chicken Chalupa," with a shell made of flattened, molded and fried chicken, will launch next year.
We've sampled similar fowl ideas (like KFC's notorious Double Down sandwich with fried chicken as the bread -- on a bet). But even we are too chicken for this.
SPAGHETTI GRILLED CHEESE
Another food hybrid getting attention this summer is the nutritionist's nightmare and carboholics's dream called the Spaghetti Grilled Cheese. The sandwich of "pressed spaghetti, fresh mozzarella on sourdough" was supposedly the innovation of the head chef at Burnt Crumbs, a gourmet sandwich restaurant in California's Orange County.
Of course, we all invented this dish on pasta night as 4-year-old children.
This chef just made it marketable by using his noodle.
PEPSI'S STUBBORN SODA
Pepsi recently introduced a line of crafted sodas called Stubborn Soda. Designed to appeal to more ingredient-savvy millennials, the boldly flavored beverages contain no artificial sweeteners and no high-fructose corn syrup.
Available varieties are: Orange Hibiscus, Classic Root Beer, Black Cherry with Tarragon, Lemon Berry Acai and Agave Vanilla Cream Soda.
Nice try, Pepsi. But in the South, we'll still call them Cokes.
OREOS' SWEDISH FISH
And we're back where we began -- cookies. Nabisco's Oreos have undergone many makeovers (Golden, Mint, Peanut Butter, Birthday Cake, Cookie Dough, Cinnamon Bun, etc. etc.). But now they've gone too far with a limited-edition flavor that is sold exclusively at Kroger.
Fish! Well, Swedish Fish. It's still got us green around the gills.
Sandwiched between the chocolate wafers is artificial red creme that is supposed to taste like the gross gummy cherry candy (funny, we always thought Swedish fish tasted of children's tears).
We're not taking this bait this time, Oreos -- are you "herring" us?
Be a smart cookie:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98. com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 08/16/2016