Dear Abby: I am 32 years old and divorced my wife two years ago. I tried dating for a bit, in the new world of online apps and profiles. It wasn’t for me, and I became discouraged.
A year has gone by and female friends are telling me I need to get back out and date. I find the whole endeavor depressing and prefer to spend my time elsewhere and single. They say my decision to stay single is emotionally driven and I “deserve love.”
My argument against dating is that I wasn’t a good husband and I have no interest in devoting the time or energy to date in the scary and confusing world of the web. Can you settle this dispute so that we can stop the back-and-forth arguments? — Divorced and Dateless
Dear Divorced and Dateless: I agree that opening yourself up to strangers can be scary. If you are not interested in meeting women on the internet, I won’t force you, even though that’s how many relationships start these days.
There are other ways to meet nice women, among them getting out and participating in activities you enjoy or volunteering for a cause you believe in. Of course, that means being open to relationships and believing you deserve one. Not having been a good husband the first time is no excuse if you have learned from your mistakes.
Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. He is in grad school. I failed out of community college. My lack of education stresses me out. I love him, and I see a future with him. But the idea of an architect and a community college dropout makes my heart ache. He is from another state and this is one of the reasons why I haven’t met his family.
I have thought about trying to get a degree to become a certified nursing assistant, but again there would be a gap in our professional levels. I’m afraid that when he does introduce me to his family they will convince him he’s better off without me. Part of me believes it’s true.
Please give me advice about what to do. — Unequal in Wisconsin
Dear Unequal: Have you have ever spoken with someone who does career counseling? Part of the counseling involves aptitude testing, which could help determine what you would be good at.
Being a nursing assistant is a respectable career that involves responsibility and people skills. If you feel drawn to it, then that’s what you should pursue, and you should not feel embarrassed or have a need to apologize for it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit
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