RIO DE JANEIRO -- There has never been anything quite like these Olympics.
At the opening ceremony, the host country's president was booed loudly. On the final weekend, citizens wept openly in the streets over a soccer penalty kick shootout that Brazil's coach said "restored our self-esteem." In between, a drunk American swimmer sidetracked the whole games by lying about a crime that never happened.
Yet we reached the finish line Sunday night. Let me repeat that for emphasis. We reached the finish line.
The Rio Olympics concluded with no major ecological disasters and no terrorism and no mosquitoes devouring random European visitors and no transportation collapses. The Rio Olympics ran on time. The Rio Olympics delivered thrilling athletic moments. The Rio Olympics, on many levels, could be considered a success. Some people wondered if I would ever be able to write that last sentence.
These were hardly the worst of the 14 Games I have covered. Atlanta and Sochi will always set the low bar. Barcelona and Sydney would be at the top.
Mainly, I retain my view that it is more crazy than brave for any city to even attempt what Rio has just done. The Olympics have grown out of control and stupidly expensive. There are too many events and too many competing interests, corporate and political and athletic
So I applaud Rio and Brazil for pulling off the seemingly impossible, despite the city and nation's dire financial shape, not to mention the ongoing presidential impeachment proceedings.
And as always, the athletes saved the games. The USA women's gymnastics team was an ongoing marvel. Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky owned the Aquatics Center. Divers conquered green water. Usain Bolt lapped the field in a 100 meter race, sort of.
As a finishing touch, soccer star Neymar's winning kick to give his Brazil team a gold medal resonated on every street corner here, matched only by the Brazil men's indoor volleyball victory Sunday afternoon. Soccer and volleyball are the country's two most popular sports, not including the badgering of tourists to buy Christ The Redeemer statue replicas.
But you didn't want to look behind the curtain too closely. Much of the infrastructure was seemingly held together with baling wire and duct tape.
A few venues looked as if they were built to last for no more than a few weeks and probably will. Temporary pedestrian walkways were a nervous melange of bars and braces. The bus system was stretched to the limits and occasionally short of drivers. The volunteer force was cut drastically, which forced those wonderful human beings to work double shifts.
Thus, rather than present any medals as the world evacuates Copacabana Beach, let's award gold, silver and bronze rolls of the adhesive stuff that managed to keep these games from falling apart and crumpling onto the Ipanema sand.
GOLD DUCT TAPE -- To Simone Biles, the USA gymnast who lifted her sport into the ozone layer with some of her remarkable moves, won four gold medals and then was rightfully chosen to carry the American flag at the closing ceremony.
SILVER DUCT TAPE -- To swimmer Ledecky, the incoming Stanford freshman, who also won four gold medals and said she does not yet know who her dorm roommate is because the school's policy is to not release that information until move-in day. Imagine what that will be like when the door opens: Hi, my name is Katie. How did you spend your summer?
BRONZE DUCT TAPE -- To the beach volleyball venue, the coolest spot at the games.
GOLD DUCT TAPE -- To Bolt. The best ever. No question. The nights that he sprinted were the only nights that the track and field venue was close to full. Vacant seats at many venues were another theme of these games, caused by multiple factors. A poor ticket distribution system was one.
SILVER DUCT TAPE -- To the Brazil basketball fans, who gave applause to every team that took the court at the Carioca Arena complex. The hoops fans were in sharp contrast to the fans at track and field, who cheered raucously for Brazilian pole vaulter Thiago Braz da Silva and were respectfully silent for his vaults -- but booed and hooted for world record holder Renaud Lavillenie of France to distract him as he tried to perform. Lavillenie could be seen weeping after he lost and fans booed him even louder during the medal ceremony. One Brazilian explained to me that citizens are so angry and upset about their government and the money spent on the Olympics that they are ready to boo anything at any time. Not sure I buy it.
BRONZE DUCT TAPE -- To more kind members of the Brazilian citizenry, who in general impressed me with their ability to adapt. At other games, inflexibility in matters such as transportation and logistics has frustrated and damaged the machinery. But when stuff didn't work here, the Brazilians adjusted. I also loved the story about British swimmer Fran Halsall, who boarded her shuttle to a heat race only to have the driver deliver her to the wrong venue. Scrambling ensued. The drive and his supervisor explained the mistake to swimming officials, who quickly delayed Halsall's event so she had time enough to make it. She qualified and finished fourth in the final.
GOLD DUCT TAPE -- To the USA track and field team, which won an unprecedented 31 medals and demonstrated what a great spectacle their sport can be. Stinks that it's a minor blip on the American sports radar.
SILVER DUCT TAPE -- To American women, who won more than half of the USA's medals here and would have finished in fourth place if they were a separate nation. So many great athletes on so many teams. More than 80 percent of them are from college programs across the country. Are there any critics of Title IX out there any more? Show of hands? I thought so.
BRONZE DUCT TAPE -- To the Olympic administrators who rallied to flush out that green pool water (caused by a maintenance mistake) and eventually reduce the long security lines and (primarily) kept us all from blowing up. The Ryan Lochte fiasco (and that's the only time I will mention his name in this column) gave Americans a bad name and explains why many people around the world look at us with resentment. But I never had a Rio citizen treat me with anything but friendliness and respect.
Sports on 08/23/2016