DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: I recently overheard my nice, 30-something dental hygienist telling another patient about the investments she and her husband are making as they save to buy a house. I know something about investing, and from what she said, I could tell that these two have no idea how risky these investments are and what high fees are hidden in them. Should I say something?
-- J.G.
DEAR J.G.: If you overheard this woman saying she needed to lose 20 pounds, would you, without invitation, start advising her on diets?
Your concern does you credit. But unless you can find a has-nothing-to-do-with-her reason to discuss the risks, commissions and fees involved in investing -- and that's not a topic that generally comes up while our teeth are being cleaned -- say nothing. Why? Because she hasn't even told you about her investment plans, let alone sought your counsel, and because the two of you aren't close enough for you to be volunteering unsolicited advice on the subject.
Will your hygienist and her husband wind up paying a dumb tax if you remain silent? Possibly so. But remember: Financially savvy as you may be, there's no guarantee that the investments you recommend will produce the kind of return these two are expecting. Do you really want the person who's probing your gums with a sharp instrument to be thinking that you compromised her family's financial future?
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My mother, who died recently, was adamant about staying in her home, but refused to pay for help other than with light housekeeping. Fortunately, my brother and his family lived nearby, and the many things they did for Mom made it possible for her to live in her house till the end. My sister and I flew in occasionally to help out, but they did all the real work. The reason I'm writing is that, while Mom's will calls for her estate to be divided equally among her three children, I'd like to give half of my share to my brother in recognition of all he did. I'm not sure, though, how to handle this vis-a-vis my sister. I'm sure she expects to keep her entire share of the estate, and I fear she'll be unsettled if she hears that I gave half of mine to our brother. Suggestions?
-- Distant Daughter
DEAR DAUGHTER: Don't try to keep your gift a secret, if that's what you're considering. Large gifts of money never remain secret for long. Plus, you don't want your sister to feel blindsided when she learns what you've done. So email her and explain what you have in mind (unlike phone calls, emails give people a chance to think about the message before responding). If your sister is unsettled, so be it. You shouldn't let her feelings discourage you from doing the right thing.
Before you do anything, though, talk to your accountant about the tax consequences associated with giving someone the amount of money you anticipate handing over to your brother. There are rules you'll want to play by, and failing to follow them could be expensive.
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Family on 08/24/2016