Dear Otus,
Don't get me wrong, I fully support the new Jacksonville/North Pulaski School District as an improvement over what we had before. One thing I don't understand is why the school board decided to dump all the individual mascots, including my beloved Red Devils, and make everyone the Titans.
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
And what happened to the mascot critters that were kept at the schools?
-- Walter Sobchak, '74,
Jacksonville
Dear Walter,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and to extend congratulations for finally freeing yourselves from your oppressive jack-booted overlords in the Pulaski County Special School District.
Unfortunately, the liberation came at a price.
The newly minted JNPSD (which is what they have taken to calling themselves) held a special meeting in May with the intention of rebranding and approving a new district logo that will adorn everything from football helmets and onesies, to yard flags and coffee mugs.
Everybody -- all eight schools in the new district -- are Titans now. And that includes Jacksonville Middle School (now on the campus of the defunct North Pulaski High School Falcons) and Jacksonville High, along with its venerable and beloved Red Devils mascot that was 88 years old.
The new logo is trademarked and will replace the Red Devils' trident and scowling satanic figure.
Titans is a nod to Little Rock Air Force Base, once home to the 308th Strategic Missile Wing, of which Titan II missiles were a part. And, of course, in Greek mythology, the titans were a race of divine beings of prodigious strength that preceded the Olympian deities.
The new Jacksonville Titans logo features a white stylized oblique italic contourny gill sans ultra bold "J" charged (emblazoned) on a scarlet modified Iberian escutcheon with a double bordure of white and onyx, with a peak between the dexter and sinister chiefs..
A gold dexter lightning bolt (representing the North Pulaski Falcons) emits from the arm of the sans serif "J" and looks for all the world like it's coming out of an exhaust pipe.
Also rendered obsolete and kicked into the nostalgic closet are any and all paraphernalia with the old elementary school mascots: Arnold Drive Alligators; Bayou Meto Meerkats; Dupree Ducks; Pinewood Possums; Taylor Turkeys; and Tolleson Turtles.
At the end of the last school year, each of these schools had living, breathing mascots that were being cared for by fifth-graders as class projects.
All except Bayou Meto. Meerkats are regulated as exotic animals, so they had a rather mangy woodchuck named Larry that they pretended was a meerkat.
But the most impressive mascot by far is Andy the Arnold Drive Alligator. Andy was found as an orphaned six-inch hatchling in Ash Slough in nearby Holland Bottoms State Wildlife Management Area and adopted in 2006.
Thanks to a steady diet of Tyson chicken gizzards, Andy has reached 13 feet and tips the scales at 578 pounds, according to fifth-grade teacher Johnny Copeland, Andy's faculty sponsor.
During the summer, Copeland keeps watch over Andy and all the other live mascots, which are kept at the high school's ROTC building on Linda Lane.
Is there any danger?
"Andy wouldn't hurt a flea," Copeland said, "He thinks he's a big puppy dog. Probably a dachshund or corgi; maybe a vizsla.
On July 11, the biweekly Tyson delivery was delayed due to the truck breaking down near Cabot. Sometime around midnight -- or at least before 6 a.m. on the 12th -- the "meerkat," duck, possum, turkey and turtle disappeared without a trace.
School officials initially suspected vandals had broken into the building, but circumstantial evidence now points to Andy.
Dr. Jumanji Anantharaman, director of the herpetology department at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock, noted, "Unfortunately, once one of these crocodylidae diablus gets a taste for possum, chicken just won't do. They are always going to want the 'other white meat.' I just hope that doesn't turn out to be a fifth-grader."
Unless officials rule otherwise, Andy is expected to be at the high school stadium at 5 a.m. Friday for the KTHV Homefield Advantage visit. Come and take a selfie.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that you don't have to be hungry to know the difference between Slovenia and Slovakia.
Disclaimer
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Z humorous fabrication X
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HomeStyle on 08/27/2016