I don't know a reasonable person across our state who condones children bullying others for whatever reason.
Stronger, more aggressive kids bullying smaller and weaker ones because they are easy targets is a truly ugly aspect of the human condition that too often carries into adulthood. It's actually an outlet for those of weaker self-image and afflicted with insecurities and anger issues to vent their wrath on innocents around them.
The respected magazine Psychology Today describes bullying as "a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want--at least at first. Bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age, if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds isn't handled well."
"Bullies couldn't exist without victims," the story continues, "and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out lack assertiveness and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. No one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either. Grown-up bullies wreak havoc in their relationships and in the workplace."
Odds are you've had your own run-ins with bullies whether personally or with children or grandchildren. Sadly enough, they've become much too commonplace.
I vividly remember two young bullies shaking me down for lunch money during my elementary school experience on Okinawa. Both were from the Philippines and a grade ahead of me.
They enjoyed intimidating me and other younger kids who preferred getting along to fighting back. That made us easy, lucrative pickings for this pair. And so the bullying continued for a couple of months until one day in the restroom (where they always cornered me during recess or the lunch hour) the duo, using their familiar threats of being beaten, backed me yet again into that gray block wall and demanded the change in my pocket, or else.
I recall reaching deep into my right jeans pocket on the day things changed to grab a handful of coins. But rather than handing them over, I came out with a clenched fist to pop the meanest boy directly in the nose as hard as I could swing.
Startled, he stepped back and grabbed for his bleeding nose. His cohort just stood beside him looking shocked, then quickly grabbed his fellow child thug by the arm and led him outside, stopping to retrieve two paper towels.
In the weeks that followed, they never approached me again and even seemed to go out of their way to avoid approaching me face-to-face.
That put an end to my experience with bullying. Very often, standing up to the bullies of life is the best possible remedy for being mistreated.
Yet when I as a father and grandfather reflect at this late stage on those fifth-grade days, I realize these two boys had parents who apparently were doing a miserable job of instilling respect and empathy toward others.
How does any 10- or 11-year-old become a bully if such behavior isn't allowed, even condoned, at home? What responsibility do parents play when their children assault, harass and and steal from others?
I believe the answer is simple: A whole lot of accountability. In fact, the majority of such behavior falls on parents' shoulders.
The Shawano, Wis., city council obviously agrees. Its police department is now involved in combating bullying by holding parents legally accountable when their children are proven to be the offenders.
NBC affiliate WGBA reported the new law allows police to fine parents if they are told their child is behaving as a bully and officers determine the mother and father allowed it to continue. Bullying in Shawano can be broadly defined as occurring in person, written communication or online. There's not much room to deny and dodge.
I believe the new ordinance is perfectly legal since it's not an issue of free speech, but of causing harm to others through one's words or behavior. You know, it's the adage about not being able to scream fire in a crowded theater when there is no fire.
Police are to work alongside the Shawano School District to identify child bullies and notify their parents that the behavior better stop.
Parents then will have 90 days to fix the problem (seems way too long to me). If the re-education at home fails and their child continues to bully, the Shawano courts will fine them $366. And that's just for the first time.
A second offense within one calendar year means a fine of $681.
Hats off to this small city for having the initiative and foresight to put an end to this unacceptable scourge in our schools and elsewhere by applying pressure at what I see as the trigger: A child's home life and inadequate parenting.
I don't know about you, my friends, but if my chronically bullying offspring was costing me that kind of money simply because I couldn't control their abusive behavior toward other kids, they'd be getting home-schooled under my watchful eye at the kitchen table each day.
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Mike Masterson's column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Email him at mmasterson@arkansasonline.com.
Editorial on 12/03/2016