DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: We give our house cleaner, "Maria," an annual Christmas cash bonus equal to what we pay for one cleaning. I have always left it up to her to choose what to do with this bonus vis-a-vis the woman who helps her, although my hope has been that Maria shares it. My husband is uneasy with this arrangement and wonders whether we should be dividing the money between the two women ourselves. What is the best way to handle the bonus?
-- W.S.
DEAR W.S.: It's not easy being Santa Claus, is it?
Kidding aside, since you've always given the bonus to Maria, she could easily be insulted were you to change the process now. Moreover, one bonus, given to the senior person, is a reasonable approach in a situation such as this. Also, Maria and her helper probably have other customers who do the same. So stick with it.
That said, there's nothing wrong with giving Maria a nudge to ensure that she shares the dough. So when you hand her the envelope, be certain her helper is present and be certain to say: "Merry Christmas. This is for the two of you." Then they'll both know that you intend for the gift to be shared.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My will calls for my son and daughter to split the proceeds of my estate 50/50, and I am happy with this arrangement. Years ago, though, I gave my daughter $50,000 to help her buy a home. Now I would like to include her daughter, who's my only grandchild, in my estate planning. How can I do this and still be fair to my son, who is childless?
-- Dolores
DEAR DOLORES: Still be fair? Sorry, but that ship has already sailed. Unless you've also given your son a $50,000 gift, you've already favored your daughter over him. So if you really want to divide things 50/50, begin by leaving your son $50,000 and dividing the remainder of your estate equally between him and his sister.
As for your granddaughter, you have two choices: You can give her a portion of your estate and divide the rest equally between your children. Or, you can give her a portion of her mother's share of your estate. But what you can't do is choose the first option and tell your son and daughter -- or yourself -- that you're dividing things equally between the two of them.
You are, of course, entitled to do as you please with your money. And you wouldn't be the first parent to decide that she wants to be scrupulously evenhanded with her children -- except when she isn't. But if you're not going to split your estate equally between your son and daughter, why not take into account more than just grandchildren? Consider, for example, favoring the child who is financially needier, or rewarding the child who helps you the most.
Look, 50/50 is fine. An exception for a grandchild is fine. But even better is dividing your estate based on the realities of your life.
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Family on 12/07/2016