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Make this your mantra: Forgive, forget, move on

And so, with the 2016 presidential election finally behind us, goes what I'll dub the Pageantry of Forgiveness.

In choosing his Cabinet, President-elect Donald Trump on Monday named former political rival Dr. Ben Carson as the man he wants to head the Department of Housing and Urban Development. "Ben Carson has a brilliant mind and is passionate about strengthening communities and families within those communities," Trump was quoted.

It was quickly pointed out, though, that this was the same Ben Carson who Trump had criticized as having "low energy" and slammed on and off social media. After dropping out of the race, Carson endorsed Trump.

This strange political dance is nothing new, however. It has been played out again and again during elections and their primaries. Look at how President Barack Obama and former presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton went at it when they were vying for the nomination in 2008. After Obama won the candidacy, Clinton endorsed Obama. What happened later? Clinton served as Obama's secretary of state.

And after a bitter, contentious election this year, Trump even softened up on the opponent over whom he was victorious. "Hillary has worked very long and very hard over a long period of time, and we owe her a major debt of gratitude for her service to our country," he said.

I always marvel at how political rivals can seemingly kiss and make up so easily after an election. Are they faking it? Is the one formerly lambasted but now being praised thinking lovey-dovey, I-forgive-you thoughts, or is he thinking, "Yeah right. I'm gonna git you, sucka"? When it comes to same-party rivals, are conciliatory statements and moves motivated by an obligation to display party unity instead of the party's dirty laundry? Is the loser endorsing/forgiving the winner just to get a cushy job later on? How often do two former political rivals actually become pals, rather than making a show of it?

Whatever feelings and emotions might be going on behind the scenes in the Pageantry of Forgiveness, I think we could all stand to grab hold of it as a motivator to decide to forgive each other for our trespasses against each other.

I believe I've mentioned in this space before the power of moving in the positive, even if we don't feel like being positive. That goes for forgiveness ... even if every fiber of our being is screaming "Nooooo! This person/company/entity did me wrong! I want to hold onto that grudge! I want to hate him/her/them/it." The theory is that sooner or later, the feelings will come along and catch up with the decision.

This is a Note to Self, too. Two years ago, my husband and I underwent yet another move that was unexpected and less than ideal -- a move that had a domino effect on our finances. Plus, we were battling some issues at our new place. To this day, we've given in to the repeated temptation to grumble against the parties who set things in motion that resulted in the unexpected move. Sometimes during our grumblings we'll throw in a "Now, if I see [these parties] out on the street somewhere, I'll be polite and I'll be civil. But I still consider them to be some low-down scoundrels."

Meanwhile -- being one of those types who prays -- I've been asking the good Lord as of late to help me keep my yap shut and not attract negativity to myself by being negative. I've been reminded that I need to do more than just refrain from grumbling about those who I feel "done me wrong." Actual forgiveness needs to take place. Rather than simply acting polite and civil to these parties, I need to let them off the hook so that I can free myself from that mental hook of my own forging.

If we examine ourselves closely enough, we all can probably find a party or two for whom we need to turn the Pageantry of Forgiveness into the reality of forgiveness. Our rivals, tormentors or oppressors may not respond with a job in their presidential Cabinet. They may not show a bit of charity for us in return.

But that's fine. Taking the high road internally as well as externally is spiritually, mentally and emotionally freeing. Which make us winners ... in politics and in life.

And you are a most worthy emailer!

hwilliams@arkansasonlinecom

Style on 12/11/2016

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