Hasn't society learned anything from Steel Magnolias?
It's what I had to ask myself last week when social media was in an undergarments uproar.
It began when Wichita, Kan., mother Megan Naramore Harris posted a photo of her cute, curvy teenage daughter trying on an evening gown with a caption detailing a disheartening exchange they experienced at a department store.
While shopping for a formal dress, the daughter put on the sophisticated, form-fitting red dress to appease her photo-snapping mother. That's when a saleswoman offered unsolicited underwear advice.
Wrote Harris in her "Dear sales lady at Dillard's Towne East Mall" post: "Right after that, you entered and told my daughter she needed to wear SPANX if she wanted to wear this dress. I told my daughter to go change. I told you that she was just fine without SPANX."
Now, we'll pause here for the benefit of the shapewear unschooled -- men (although Spanx.com does sell slenderizing tees, tanks and trunks designed for them too) and those women electing a life of unrestricted oxygen. Spanx is a brand of hosiery, lingerie, etc., selling tummy-slimming, jiggle-ceasing, pantyline-eliminating, bulge-smoothing undergarments with names like Higher Power Panties and Trust Your Thinstincts Bodysuits. Experts have warned that wearing such compression apparel can be dangerous, but I warn that if unrestrained, my tummy flab could fly out and seriously injure someone, too.
So they're foundations for fatties? Hardly. All women -- thick, thin, buxom and bony -- wear Spanx. Even the slimmest of celebrities shimmy into them. Singers Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood have professed their love for the brand, as have actresses Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey and Gwyneth Paltrow and model Heidi Klum. Shapewear, which conceals any lumps and bumps and makes for a more svelte silhouette, is particularly crucial under clingy clothing like evening wear.
But Harris didn't find the saleswoman's suggestion helpful. She found it hurtful.
"I wish I had told you how many girls suffer from poor self image and telling them they need something to make them perfect can be very damaging," she posted. "Girls of all ages, shapes and sizes are perfect because that is how God made them. If they feel good in a dress, that is all that should matter. My daughter is tall, she swims, runs, dances and does yoga. She's fit. She's beautiful. She did not need you telling her that she is not perfect. I hope this is shared and gets back to you so that you should not say something like that to a girl ever again."
She got at least part of that wish. The post has gone viral, and most of the responses I've read side with the mother. They believe the saleswoman was in the wrong.
I believe she deserves a raise.
I wasn't there. I don't know the exact words that were exchanged. If the saleswoman was discourteous in her delivery (Harris says she "argued"), I absolutely don't defend that. But, assisting customers in looking their best -- not to mention upselling the right foundations and accessories -- is a saleswoman's job. A lesser employee would have lied, said she looked flawless and made the sale, leaving it to everyone else at the formal to whisper around her: "She needs Spanx."
And she does needs Spanx (everyone does).
And she also needs to watch Steel Magnolias with her mama, particularly the scene in which Truvy, Dolly Parton's character, and Clairee, Olympia Dukakis' character, diss the ample derriere of the mayor's wife while she's dancing at Shelby's blush-and-bashful wedding, complete with the "bleeding" red velvet armadillo groom's cake. And I quote almost from memory with an assist from IMDB.com:
Truvy: "Clairee, you know I'd rather walk on my lips than criticize anybody, but Janice Van Meter ...."
Clairee: "I know ...."
Truvy: "I bet you money she's paid $500 for that dress and doesn't even bother to wear a girdle."
Clairee: "It's like two pigs fighting under a blanket."
Truvy: "Well, I haven't left the house without Lycra on these thighs since I was 14!"
Clairee: "You were brought up right!"
Put on your big-girl panties and mail:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 02/02/2016