DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: A friend recently bought me a coffee drink at Starbucks, which was very nice of her. But I noticed she didn't leave a tip for the barista. Under the circumstances, would it have been OK for me to put something in the tip jar myself? I wound up doing nothing, but I felt bad about it.
-- P.G.
DEAR P.G.: Don't feel bad, feel good. You made the right call. Had you tipped the barista after your friend did not, it could well have played as a criticism of her. And your friend did nothing wrong. Even though plenty of people leave tips when ordering and picking up coffee drinks at a counter, there's no need to do so (baristas aren't waiters or waitresses). If tipping's your pleasure, though, and you're again being treated to coffee, you can always say, "Let me get the tip," at the moment the person offers to pay. But to have left a tip after your nice friend had put away her wallet would have been to suggest that in paying for your coffee, she hadn't done quite enough.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: During our 15-year marriage, my now-ex-wife had a serious spending problem. I never put my foot down because I figured if her purchases made her happy, maybe it would help our relationship (wrong). Long story short, by the time we divorced, there was no equity in our home, and we were barely scraping by. The good news is that my wife did agree, as part of our divorce settlement, to give me 50 percent of her share of the proceeds when some property she owned with her family was sold. Well, I recently learned that my ex and her boyfriend just put $200,000 down to buy a house. Since the boyfriend has nothing, I contacted my ex and asked if the family property had been sold. She admitted it had. But when I asked for my 50 percent of her share of the proceeds, she claimed that all the money had gone to her mother. She did reveal, however, that her mother had made the down payment on the new house "as a gift." I'm seeing a lawyer about where I stand legally. But I'd like to know whether you agree that what my ex and her mother did is wrong. Even though my ex may not have received any money from the sale directly, she did benefit -- to the tune of $200,000 -- from the property being sold. Isn't she honor-bound to pay me 50 percent of that amount?
-- Former Pushover
DEAR FORMER PUSHOVER: So your ex blew through your financial resources, and her mother launders money. Boy, did you draw the short straw!
Not that either is a laughing matter. From what you say, it certainly sounds as if your spendthrift ex-wife has enlisted her mother to cheat you out of the money she owes you. Of course that's wrong, and of course she should pay you. We hope your lawyer is a shark.
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Family on 02/03/2016