TV Week COVER STORY It’s all fun and games

Pups, cats, fish offer Super Bowl alternatives

It’s all fun and games

Puppy Bowl XII: Animal Planet event promotes pet adoption.
Puppy Bowl XII: Animal Planet event promotes pet adoption.

Super Bowl 50 (the Roman numerals have been dropped for this one), kicks off at 5:30 p.m. today on CBS with the favored Carolina Panthers taking on the Denver Broncos.

That means all your regular broadcast network programs will be reruns so as not to "waste" an episode up against the most-watched event all year.

Yep, reruns -- from America's Funniest Videos to Shark Tank on ABC; the entire comedy lineup on Fox; and everything after Dateline NBC on that network. NBC is killing the rest of prime time with a rerun of 2012's Pitch Perfect.

More than 100 million Americans (maybe as many as 120 million) will be watching the Super Bowl. In fact, an average of 114.4 million (peaking at 120.8 million) tuned in last year to see the Patriots beat the Seahawks, making it the most-watched TV event in U.S. history. The game pulled a 71 share, meaning an astounding 71 percent of those watching TV were tuned to the Super Bowl.

That's why your regular shows are reruns.

If you are among the 29 percent who'll be watching something else, TV hasn't forgotten you. Of course, we're talking about Puppy Bowl XII, the annual extravaganza of adorable, adoptable cuteness.

Puppy Bowl XII woofs onto Animal Planet at 2 p.m. today "with two hours of fuzzy faces, sloppy kisses and puppy penalties from Geico Stadium." There will be "a furry group of line barkers and wide retrievers, making adorable tumbles and fumbles in an effort to score touchdowns."

There's even a Puppy Bowl Pre-Game Show at 1:30, where hosts James Hound, Rodt Weiller and Sheena Inu (get it?) introduce us to this year's two teams and offer analysis and commentary.

It's a rematch of Team Ruff vs. Team Fluff, with the rosters filled by 44 animal shelters and rescue organizations representing 25 states and Puerto Rico.

Animal Planet also teamed up with the Pro Football Hall of Fame to introduce the Puppy Bowl Hall of Fame to honor "legacy players" throughout Puppy Bowl. The goal is to promote the adoption of older, "veteran" animals in addition to puppies and kittens.

If you think it was a good Super Bowl last year, ponder this. Animal Planet reports that Puppy Bowl XI dominated a field of imitators in the ratings, "dogging" the competition with more than 10 million viewers.

If you miss the first outing, never fear. Animal Planet will repeat Puppy Bowl XII again and again for a total of 12 hours today.

This year's game features 49 puppies competing for the glory of being named the Bissell MVP (Most Valuable Puppy). If you're not in the mood for Coldplay's halftime show at the Super Bowl, The Puppy Bowl's Kitty Halftime Show will bring a "cat-astrophic San Francisco-inspired kitten takeover to the Bay area."

Animal Planet promises, "These ferocious felines are on a spree of cat-aclismic destruction as they paw across historic landmarks, including the Golden Gate Bridge, Fisherman's Wharf and infamous Al-­Cat-­Raz."

Seriously, that's what the news release says. I wouldn't make this stuff up.

There's more silliness.

With help from special assistant ref, Stanley the Skunk, Dan Schachner returns as America's favorite "rufferee" to call the puppy penalties.

Rooting from the sidelines are five big-­haired silkie chicken cheerleaders. Animal advocate and television correspondent Jill Rappaport will introduce the "Pup Close and Personal" segments.

Meep the Bird returns to tweet updates throughout the big game, and aerial coverage will be provided by hamsters in the Twizzlers biplane.

If you don't like puppies, how about kittens?

Kitten Bowl III. The fur flies at 11 a.m. on Hallmark Channel with host Beth Stern, announcers John Sterling and Mary Carillo, and FFL (Feline Football League) Commissioner Boomer Esiason.

The three-hour Kitten Bowl III repeats at 2 and 5 p.m.

Fish Bowl. Finally, for those who prefer ectothermic action on Super Bowl Sunday, Nat Geo Wild will supersize its annual Fish Bowl this year for the third outing.

Fish Bowl XXL will air from 5 to 7 p.m. today and repeat from 9 to 11. Purists: Ignore the fact that there is no XXL in the Roman numeric system. The letters stand for Extra Extra Large.

How large? "A freakin' 50-gallon tank" will be featured. That's it -- two hours of watching an aquarium, with a soundtrack of songs by bands with fish-related names.

Nat Geo Wild claims Fish Bowl XXL is "the Zen alternative to the clash on the gridiron," and spokesman Geoff Daniels says, "Our fish are going to swim circles around the puppies and kittens out there. We're going to school them."

What will you see in the aquarium? There will be a clown triggerfish, bicolor foxface, harlequin tusk and porcupine puffer. Also, a spotted sweet lips, emperor angelfish and Picasso triggerfish.

"Goldie, our fan-tailed goldfish [from last year], will make an appearance," Daniels says. "Mainly because she's a diva with a good agent."

Style on 02/07/2016

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