I’m going to have to get creative with my exercise program, and I’ve got an idea.
I haven’t been to the gym since last year, and it’s beginning to show.
I’ve got lots of excuses. I like to get to work early, but I don’t want to shower at the gym — yuck — and I don’t like to go at night in the dark. It amps me up, and I can’t sleep.
Now I’ve got a cold, and I don’t want to make anybody else sick, so I’m staying home.
My brother was telling me during our weekly phone conversation that with his surgery and call schedule, he has fallen behind on exercising, too. He has a snow-skiing trip coming up, and he knows it’ll be brutal if he doesn’t get his ski legs.
While he was taking care of his adorable 9-month-old chunk of a son, Barrett — who weighs 24 pounds — my brother decided to do some squats while holding him. He said he ended up doing five sets of 25 over the weekend. Feel the burn, baby.
Then my 5-year-old nephew, Seb, wanted in on the action. (Sibling rivalry is a real thing, in case you didn’t know.) He has been skinny all his life and is finally up to 40 pounds. After my brother did a few squats with him, Seb sat on his back, and my brother did 10 pushups. Seb asked him to do 500.
It turned out to be a pretty good workout.
I was telling my husband and younger son about this, and my husband suggested I could do squats with our 20-pound cat, Ashton.
Ashton prefers to keep his paws on the ground. He meowed in protest, but I held him in front of me and tried a few squats. My younger son grabbed his cellphone to record it to show his new girlfriend, whom I have not met.
“She’ll love it,” he said. “She’s a cat person” and is looking forward to meeting Ashton, he said.
Wearing my comfy clothes, including my fuzzy pants and house shoes, I held Ashton and did three or four squats while my son videoed and Ashton howled. I’m sure that made a good first impression on his girlfriend.
But maybe my son is onto something. He has a friend who fancies himself a filmmaker.
I can see a series of exercise videos using your pets. Maybe I could train our 15-pound dog, Rudy, to sit on my back while I do pushups, too.
I could make Abs With Ashton or Reps With Rudy.
We could call this new craze Pawsercise or PUMBA.
As I get stronger, though, I’m going to need more “weights.” My older son and daughter-in-law don’t have kids yet, and my granddog, Zorro, weighs only 8 pounds. The grandcat, Mia, is skinny, too.
I guess I either need to start a pet-sitting or baby-sitting business.
P.S. No babies or animals were harmed in the writing of this column.
Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.