HOOVER, Ala. -- Arkansas Coach Bret Bielema delivered the kind of rollicking presentation attendees had been hoping to hear Wednesday during a mostly hum-drum SEC media days.
With Steve Spurrier's sharp wit and barbs not at the proceedings for the first time in 12 years, comic relief was in high demand. The fourth-year Arkansas coach brought his A-game.
Bielema took lighthearted jabs at himself, Athletic Director Jeff Long and the Arkansas program; let loose a long-held complaint of a tripping penalty; joked about wanting to punch Texas A&M Coach Kevin Sumlin; called senior Deatrich Wise a "beautiful" defensive end; brought "sexy" back as a common adjective; and told a story about ex-SEC commissioner Mike Slive giving him a dressing down during his first season.
Bielema accomplished all this in a speech and question-and-answer session that lasted 30 minutes, to which the media responded with "bravo" on social media.
"I had received several texts in the last 48 hours before coming here, different media people saying 'We need you, we need you,' " Bielema said in a breakout session with local media after his stint in the big ballroom at the Wynfrey Hyatt Hotel. "I felt a little pressure. But it was just me. I wasn't trying to do anything or stir up anything. I was just trying to be me."
The three Arkansas players accompanying him to central Alabama and his wife, Jen, agreed.
"He was funny today," Jen Bielema said. "He had a little spark under him or something. Maybe we need to start getting him up at 4 a.m. every day. That's the guy I fell in love with, with just his sense of humor.
"A quick joke here, you might catch something there that wasn't intended to be funny, but it's kind of like a little one-liner. It's totally unrehearsed. Sometimes he just grabs a napkin and a red pen and writes things down before he goes up and makes a speech."
Every coach can talk about his quarterback competition or linebacker depth.
Only he can pull a Bielema.
"He's the same way he is in the media and off the media," Wise said. "He's the same guy. He always keeps people laughing."
Tight end Jeremy Sprinkle said Bielema likes to open team meetings with a joke, much like he's done at SEC media days.
"He's pretty much the same guy you see in here," Sprinkle said.
"He does that a lot during meetings," linebacker Brooks Ellis said. "Sometimes it works, and sometimes he thinks it's funny and the team doesn't, so there's a little awkward silence. But yes, he keeps it light and entertaining during meetings."
Even when Bielema was making a serious assessment about his team, the funny spilled out.
"One thing I am proud of is to go 0-8 in the SEC, 2-6 and then jump to 5-3," Bielema said to David Bazzel early Wednesday on Little Rock's 103.7 FM, The Buzz. "That s*** just don't happen. Or that stuff just doesn't happen."
Bielema joked about attending his former quarterback Russell Wilson's wedding outside Liverpool, England, recently.
"I was at Russell's wedding. Not in the wedding," he said. "I was the guy in the eighth row on the outside seat."
He brought up Long's scheduling.
"Our AD had a nice idea to throw TCU into the mix before we take on the SEC West," he said. "One hell of an idea."
Arkansas' three losses to Texas A&M on his watch haven't set well with Bielema, who brought up a tripping call on the first play of the fourth quarter in 2014, when a Jonathan Williams run to the Texas A&M 2-yard line was brought back to midfield with Arkansas in position to extend a 28-14 lead.
"Which was a marvelous call for Steve Shaw and his staff," Bielema said. "First tripping call I've ever seen in college football. But it was a good call, and we deserved it. But it did kind of change the momentum of the game. I hope there's a moratorium on complaining about reffing."
Bielema spoke of his respect for Sumlin, saying he was as close with him as with any other head coach, before relating their postgame interaction last year after Arkansas lost a 21-13 lead in the fourth quarter in a 28-21 overtime loss.
"We're walking across to shake hands and he said, 'I don't know what to say.' I said, 'Don't say anything. I might punch you,' " Bielema said.
Bielema even cleverly incorporated the SEC's theme of 2016 -- "It just means more" -- into his remarks.
"At Arkansas, we're not built very sexy, we're just kind of a work in progress," he said. "We need a lot of time in the bathroom to get ready and come out and look great. But when we do, we'll stop time. And at some point we'll get to where we want to be. And when we get there, it just means a little bit more."
The Bielemas brought their pet Yorkies, Ricky and Lucy, to Hoover, because a trip to Miami to see Jen's father was to follow.
"I'm going to be in South Beach by 5," Bielema said on the SEC Network.
It's just the way Bielema rolls.
Sports on 07/14/2016