ASH FLAT — Becky Nicholson Foreman took the steps.
After graduating from high school in her hometown of Ash Flat, she attended Arkansas State University-
Jonesboro, where she aspired to be an educator, like her mother and father. While a student, she met and later married Chad Oliver of Strawberry, a “humorous, dedicated” man who worked for what is now called the Natural Resources Conservation Service.
The couple traveled around the state for years because of Chad’s job and had their daughter,
Camillia Kaylin, on Sept. 29, 1993, and son, Payton Dewayne, on Sept. 26, 1997. In 1998, the couple settled in Ash Flat and built a home the next year.
To Becky, those were the steps of life.
“Everybody’s steps are going upward; they’re heaven-bound,” said Foreman, 47, a literacy specialist at Sloan-Hendrix Elementary School in Imboden. “Everybody’s steps, from the time they’re born, they’re heaven-bound. Not everybody takes that path, but that’s the path we’re given. And so I always did that in those steps.”
But on Monday, Aug. 25, 2003, she came to what she calls a broken step: A car accident claimed the lives of Chad, 37, and Camillia, 9, and left Becky hospitalized for a month and immobile for eight. Becky remembers finalizing her lesson plan the Friday before the accident, but to this day, Becky does not know — nor has she ever wanted to know — the details of the wreck.
“I know from what people have told me, we were on our way to Jonesboro,” Foreman said. “Apparently, we were doing some home repairs and finishing up, and we were on our way to Jonesboro to get some items.”
Becky received internal damage to her liver and spleen, and underwent two skin grafts. She traveled to Memphis each Wednesday for a year for wound care. She has metal placed in her hip and left arm, and can name 16 of her nearly 20 bones that were broken in the wreck.
Payton, who was never much of a car rider, was staying with Becky’s grandmother at the time. Becky said she believes God wanted to free Chad and Camillia of their pain and that she survived to care for Payton, who was 5 at the time.
“I can remember screaming, ‘How do you expect me to go on? How do I do this? How do I raise this little boy?’” she said. “It’s like God not only told me what I was going to do; he showed me. It came to me that when you come to a broken step, you step over it.”
Now Becky shares with others that there is hope. Becky has told her story on a local basis and shared her experiences at Ash Flat Church of Christ’s first Rock This House women’s conference years ago — her first time to publicly speak about her experience — and at her workplace, along with visiting other area churches and grief groups. She even spoke at an event hosted by the Memphis clinic that treated her skin grafts.
She tells others that there are three things in life that kept her going.
“When I tell my story, I will tell everybody that all of us have those three sons. Two of them are the same: Everybody has God’s son, everybody has the bright yellow sun that comes up every day, and not everybody has a little boy named Payton, but everybody has at least one other person in their life that’s a son — even if it’s a daughter or a parent or a sibling or a special aunt or a special friend or the co-worker or boss — everybody has at least one other person,” she said. “In my mind, everyone has three sons.”
Overwhelmed with medical-bill issues in spring 2004, Foreman considered reaching out to Greg Foreman, who at the time was a basketball coach at Sloan-Hendrix High School. Becky knew Greg had survived a 52-day coma after a wreck in 1999, after which he had to relearn everything from tying his shoe to brushing his teeth. Becky also knew of Greg from her high school days, when her school and his, Cave City High School, were sports rivals.
“I thought, ‘Maybe he had the same kind of medical-bill issues I had,’” she said.
That May, Becky called Greg, a divorced father of two, to see if he could meet with her about the billing issues. Greg canceled basketball practice that day to attended Payton’s tee-ball game to meet her. Becky expected Greg to give her a file folder of information; instead, he handed her a Post-it note with his phone number.
The two married the following year.
“I met him, and I realized no one would take care of Payton and myself like Greg would,” she said. “I knew immediately that he would take care of us more than anybody else we could ever meet.”
Becky said some are surprised that she and Greg began dating at that time.
“You have to remember I was in a bed for eight months, so my time was different from your time,” she said. “I also became aware of how little time we may have. If some people might want to say I rushed into this, my response is always, ‘I am going to grasp hold of all the time I’ve got and make the best of that time.’”
Becky said Greg’s daughters, Kali Dunegan and Kassie Meharg, both teachers, were important additions to Becky and Payton’s family unit.
“I felt like with Greg, I just got a bonus,” she said. “It was almost like God was saying, ‘I had to take two of your family so they wouldn’t hurt, so I’m going to throw in two more with a bonus.’”
Greg no longer coaches but teaches health, PE and career development at Sloan-Hendrix High School.
Payton is preparing to enter Arkansas State University-Newport this fall.
“It’s unique to watch him and his actions and things, and see how he carries himself like his dad,” she said.
Becky will emcee this year’s Rock This House conference, during which she’ll introduce a segment called cardboard testimonies, where she’ll briefly share her story using just a few words on the front of a piece of cardboard and the rest of her story on the back.
One side reads, “Lost loved ones;” the other, “Found faith.”
“People need to know they are not alone, that there are other people who have gone through maybe not the exact same loss, but people have gone through loss,” she said.
Staff writer Syd Hayman can be reached at (501) 244-4307 or shayman@arkansasonline.com.