The TV Column

Sharknado 4 wreaks more over-the-top fin fury

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens returns Tara Reid and Ian Ziering to the toothy action and debuts at 7 p.m. today on Syfy immediately following an encore of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! at 5 p.m.
Sharknado: The 4th Awakens returns Tara Reid and Ian Ziering to the toothy action and debuts at 7 p.m. today on Syfy immediately following an encore of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! at 5 p.m.

There's campy; then there's cheesy.

Then there's Syfy's Sharknado.

No one predicted when the first Sharknado movie debuted that there would be three sequels (so far) and it would become the self-described "greatest cinematic franchise of all time."

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens, billed as "the sequel to the sequel of the sequel," airs at 7 p.m. today, with an encore at 10.

Watch it twice. It's that cheesy and loaded with cameos you'll surely miss the first time. It even includes sandnadoes, oilnadoes, a firenado and a cownado, and -- and -- David Hasselhoff is back. It doesn't get much better than that.

Just to catch you up on the journey of our intrepid heroes, here's a rundown of the franchise so far.

Sharknado (2013). A freak storm strikes Los Angeles, floods the city with seawater, sucks up hundreds of vicious man-eating sharks and rains them down on the unsuspecting masses.

Bar owner and surfer Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) heads out to rescue his ex-wife, April (Tara Reid), and their daughter, Claudia (Aubrey Peeples, who would go on to play Layla Grant in Nashville).

Lots of folks get eaten before the tornadoes are destroyed by homemade bombs.

The film ends with the most magnificent action hero derring-do ever filmed.

Armed with a chain saw (which would become his signature weapon), Fin jumps into the mouth of a giant shark and slices his way out carrying the unconscious, but unharmed, bartender Nova (Cassie Scerbo).

Then Fin and April get back together and all's well with the world. Until ...

Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014). Our reunited couple are on the way to New York to promote April's book about their adventure when another storm brings the sharks. They eat the pilots.

Fin lands the plane, but April has her hand chomped off by a shark.

In New York, the subway floods and sharks start killing folks willy-nilly. The sharknadoes are converging, but Fin figures a way to blow them up, but not before lots of people die gruesome deaths.

Oh, he also finds April's severed arm in one shark, takes the wedding ring off the hand and uses it to propose again.

Eww.

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015). Fin is in Washington to receive a hero medal when another sharknado arrives and destroys D.C.

Meanwhile, April is at Universal Orlando in Florida with Claudia (now played by Ryan Newman). Fin fights his way south through several sharknadoes that are combining into a massive sharkicane that will destroy the entire East Coast.

Hasselhoff plays Fin's estranged dad, former astronaut Gil Shepard, and together they destroy the storm from space using a secret Space Shuttle.

And, yes, the sharks attack the shuttle in space. Don't ask how.

Fans can warm up for the latest in the series by watching Sharknado 3 at 5 p.m. today, immediately before Sharknado 4.

Sharknado: The 4th Awakens (2016). In tonight's movie, we learn that it has been five peaceful years since the sanguinary events of Sharknado 3. April and Fin have been quietly raising their newborn son.

But suddenly a nuclear sharknado is heading for Las Vegas (and other places).

The film welcomes the return of not only Ziering and Reid, but Hasselhoff as Fin's dad and Newman as Claudia.

Cameos? You want cameos? The first three movies were so cool, Syfy had no problem loading the films with Hollywood has-beens and others with time on their hands.

Among those putting in an appearance were Judd Hirsch, Kurt Angle, Billy Ray Cyrus, Andy Dick, (the now-infamous) Jared Fogle, Robert Hays, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Kelly Osbourne, Kelly Ripa and Al Roker.

Others who have dropped in include Bo Derek, Frankie Muniz, Mark Cuban, Ann Coulter, Lou Ferrigno, Lorenzo Lamas, Bill Engvall, Jackie Collins, Robert Klein, Jerry Springer, Penn & Teller, Michele Bachmann, George R.R. Martin, Natalie Morales, Kathie Lee Gifford and Petunia the stuffed animal possum as herself.

How about Sharknado 4? Look for guest spots by Gary Busey as April's father and Cheryl Tiegs as Fin's mother.

Also on board are Tommy Davidson, Steve Guttenberg, Gilbert Gottfried, Alexandra Paul, Gena Lee Nolin, Stacey Dash, Duane "Dog" Chapman, Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson, the Chippendales Dancers, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Vince Neil and Savannah and Grayson Chrisley.

These folks and many others get to watch Reid (who wasn't squashed by space debris) utter such memorable lines as, "I love you, Fin Shepard, you crazy bastard!"

Finally, as scary as all the sharks are, the creepiest and most horrifying image in Sharknado 4 is 74-year-old Wayne "Mr. Las Vegas" Newton and his Madame Tussaud-esque face-lift. It's truly frightening and may just be the reason the movie is rated TV-14.

The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email:

mstorey@arkansasonline.com

Style on 07/31/2016

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