A long, long time ago (last month) in a galaxy far, far away (the Dallas area), Jedi Candace Payne (a wife and mother who once studied musical theater at Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia) made history (achieving the status of most-viewed live Facebook video, in which she cackled while wearing a roaring Wookiee mask bought at Kohl's).
But then ... Sith Lords (bored, bitter, haters with too much time on their hands) rose up against her.
Presenting: Chewbacca Mom II: The Internet Strikes Back.
Everything was going so well for lovely, laughing Candace.
After her, "It's the simple joys in life ..." video racked up millions of views (it's now around 156 million), Kohl's paid her family a visit and repaid her for the free advertising with $2,500 in gift cards and scores of additional Star Wars toys.
And she went on Good Morning America, where Hasbro gifted her with even more Star Wars swag and yet another gift certificate for $2,500.
She got to carpool with not only James Corden on The Late Late Show, but with Star Wars: Episode VII -- The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams.
Candace jetted to San Francisco for visits to the headquarters of Lucasfilm and Facebook.
The Paynes were guests of Walt Disney World, where Candace got to go on Star Tours, the movie-inspired 3-D motion-simulated space flight ride, and take selfies with Chewbacca in the flesh, well, in the fur.
While the Payne clan was in Florida, she was invited to visit the small private Christian school Southeastern University, where her family -- she and her husband have two children, ages 6 and 7 -- were offered full-tuition scholarships. (Long story short: A bigwig at the college has a history with Payne's home church.)
She spent a recent weekend with her family at Fan Expo Dallas as VIPs, where she signed autographs and got to hang with Peter Mayhew, the original Chewbacca.
And last week she even got to accessorize her mask with a pretty pink dress, strut the red carpet and sit among stars like Carrie Underwood and Blake Shelton at the CMT Music Awards in Nashville, Tenn.
A Time magazine story suggests that now Payne, who was just being silly and never sought this level of celebrity, is chuckling all the way to the bank. It estimated she has amassed some $420,000 in the weeks since her video went viral.
And now what's going viral is backlash.
While I don't understand the correlation, some have pointed to the buzz from this video as some kind of proof of white privilege.
Tweeted one: "Candace Payne, the Chewbacca lady, & her entire family were granted full scholarships to a FL University. White mediocrity is so tiresome."
Tweeted another about the scholarships: " ... for being a geek in a mask? Is there anything whiteness can't do?"
(At the risk of showing my mediocre whiteness and therefore tiresome geekiness, I didn't realize geekiness had a color?)
Social media also didn't take kindly to Candace charging $20 for selfies at the fan expo, thinking the celebrity had gone to her masked head.
Said one woman on Facebook: "This is another example of how truly narcissistic [sic] our society has become. Someone who contributes nothing to life or society has become famous ... simply because she put a mask on and laughed like an idiot about it."
(At least she put something on. Too many social media sensations get attention for taking things off.)
In her defense, Candace was quoted at the expo by a Dallas TV station as saying: "We're going to donate whatever is made today to some charity that's close to my heart. It's not about, 'Hey, this lady's got some 15 minutes of fame and now is getting greedy.' I am absolutely using this platform to give as much as I can."
See? She's like the real Chewbacca, just trying to help in her own way, even if it seems misguided to some. You know, like in Star Wars: Episode V -- The Empire Strikes Back when Chewie tried to fix a busted-up C-3PO and put his head on backwards.
Candace has quickly realized a truth about overnight fame.
It can be a real Payne.
Use the force and email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 06/14/2016