Caring -- about people, about things, about life -- is an act of maturity.
-- Tracy McMillan, author
In my last column I wrote about my recovery from foot surgery and the hard time I had getting back into my normal routine after I could walk on two feet again. When you are used to a certain way of life, a routine, a way of doing things, and it is thrown totally off kilter, everyday life can feel overwhelming.
After the column ran I got some very encouraging and uplifting emails, and I appreciate them immensely. Several readers shared their stories, and they were similar to mine in many ways.
But one dear reader took me to task. I need to get outside hobbies -- or something -- to help me get over it, she said. And while those were not her exact words, that was the gist. Her message pinched me a little. It also forced me to think.
I turned 53 last week. I know I'm an adult, but I also know that every now and then I still feel like a kid inside. I don't like having to be an adult some days. I don't want to have responsibilities or pay bills or be strong.
But I also know that I as an adult I have to put on my big-girl pants and, as the slogan says, "Just do it."
When a wound or incision heals, the aches go away and we're back on our feet, but does that mean we are totally healed?
So much of what goes on with our bodies seems to be mental. In the same way that feelings of joy and love can makes us feel good, sadness or depression can leave us feeling as if we just want to lie down.
It's not mental instability, it's life instability.
IN THE HEAD
Stephanie Kremer, a clinical psychologist with the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Psychiatric Research Institute, says our thoughts really can affect the healing process. Negative, fearful or worried thoughts can elicit the stress response, and that can inhibit healing.
On the other hand, keeping a positive outlook can facilitate healing.
It's normal to rest and recover after an illness or surgery, but if we hide from the world for too long, there may be a problem, Kremer says. If we are normally cheerful and outgoing and reach out to others when we need help or encouragement, but then exhibit totally opposite behavior, it would be wise to discuss it with a doctor.
It is normal to be moody after serious medical procedures, especially if there is a shift in our level of activity and exercise. But there are steps we can take that can help us get back to our normal selves.
One is to be aware of negative patterns. We have to work to challenge the negative thoughts through being positive, realistic and adaptive. If we can do it on our own, through books, talking with friends or family, meditation or positive affirmation, it's a win/win. If not, a psychologist or mental health professional might be the way to go.
Kremer says that creating a daily schedule is helpful. Start by making lists of different activities, such as chores, errands, exercise and enjoyable activities. Include a range of items based on how much effort they require, from least to most. On days we lack energy, we can still commit to doing something, just something that requires less effort, whether it's mental or physical.
We can also make a weekly schedule. Write down the activities we think we need to do but allow for a certain amount of flexibility or ways we can substitute if we don't feel like doing the scheduled activity that day.
It's also helpful to spend time with others who will lift and support us, and a good way to find such people is to volunteer to help other people. Those worthwhile causes can be motivating and give us just the boost we need for an attitude adjustment.
I know that volunteering makes me feel better. Helping people who have needs beyond mine really makes me appreciate my blessings.
Email me at:
rboggs@arkansasonline.com
ActiveStyle on 03/28/2016