WHAT'S IN A DAME

JENNIFER CHRISTMAN: Betrayed? It's good riddance, Bey-bee!

In her new song "Sorry" on her newly released cheater-shaming album Lemonade, Beyonce vocalizes, "He only want me when I'm not there/He better call Becky with the good hair."

New research suggests Beyonce needn't worry about her husband Jay Z (at least that's who we think it's about; read full review on Page 6E) getting with "Becky."

If she is even really upset about a "Becky" (who fans have interpreted to mean everyone from signer Rita Ora to designer Rachel Roy, to poor similarly named Rachael Ray, as if the Food Network personality were cooking up torrid love affairs instead of recipes like "Who Ya Callin' Chicken? Stuffed Sammie Pockets") at all. Because while the singer's Beyhive was busy Twitter-attacking these women, the Queen Bey was kissing up to her spouse on stage: "I want to dedicate this song to my beautiful husband. I love you so much."

The Carters -- that's the couple's last name -- clearly seem cool, so why is everyone so worked up? And shouldn't everybody be more ticked off with Jay Z ... the assumed sleaze ... now streaming his hurt wife's music for profit on his service?

Back to the research. A new study led by Craig Eric Morris from Binghamton University in New York suggests that betrayed women can be better off in the long run. The study in The Oxford Handbook of Women and Competition is titled "Intrasexual Mate Competition and Breakups: Who Really Wins?" and it concludes that scorned women do.

The study team led an online survey of 5,705 people in 96 countries to find out if breaking up has benefits.

The abstract says 85 percent of women will face a breakup (as opposed to being widowed) in their lives. And therefore, Morris says via news release, "If we have evolved to seek out and maintain relationships, then it seems logical that there would be evolved mechanisms and responses to relationship termination."

According to the abstract: "It is possible that, in addition to the immediate negative results of female intrasexual mate competition, there may be long-term effects to mate loss that have not been previously explored."

We interpret that science-speak to mean maybe it's not so bad if you're the victim of a home wrecker.

After we isolate and sulk for a while, we eventually pick ourselves up. We remember that "living well is the best revenge." We use the extra time to get in better shape, work out to Beyonce's "Single Ladies," read some books, take a class, work on Pinterest projects, reconnect with old friends, make new friends, find new hobbies, up our cooking game and whip up those "Who Ya Callin' Chicken? Stuffed Sammie Pockets."

And we get smarter.

"Most women who have lost a mate to another woman report a 'silver lining' of higher mating intelligence," Morris says, adding, "they are more attuned to cues of infidelity in a future mate, more aware of how other women interact with their mate."

By learning from past people-reading mistakes, we avoid repeating them.

Morris says, "Our thesis is that the woman who 'loses' her mate to another woman will go through a period of post-relationship grief and betrayal, but come out of the experience with higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value. Hence, in the long term, she 'wins.'"

The same cannot be said for the poacher. And by that we don't mean Rachael Ray and her Sliced Poached Chicken With Light and Lemony Gravy.

He says, "The 'other woman,' conversely, is now in a relationship with a partner who has a demonstrated history of deception and, likely, infidelity. Thus, in the long term, she 'loses.'"

Those bimbo Beckys with the good hair might have great manes. But they won't have great men.

Meanwhile, those who are betrayed -- the apparent Beyonces of the world -- will be OK.

But was she really wronged? Or was this just a PR stunt to sell albums?

Maybe we are the ones being betrayed, or worse, Bey-trayed!

Your email is irreplaceable:

jchristman@arkansasonline.com

What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Style on 05/03/2016

Upcoming Events