Waiting on good manners from waitstaff

The conversation among some of our friends turned to service at restaurants, and we each talked about a peeve.

My friend doesn’t like it when her server asks, “Did everything taste good?” She pointed to an imaginary plate: “Well, this was good; this was so-so,” she said. I asked her why she just didn’t tell the person the truth. She said it might cause a ruckus. I can imagine the deer-in-the-headlights look many servers might have. My friend just smiles politely and says yes, regardless of if some of the food wasn’t up to par.

What grates on my nerves, and my husband’s, is when a server says: “No problem.” Drives. Me. Crazy.

It’s a popular phrase in our culture, but I hear it constantly when I eat at a restaurant. It’s as if I’m asking for something outlandish, instead of more iced tea. When the server refills my glass, and I say, “Thank you,” the response is often: “No problem.” It should be “You’re welcome.”

I am the customer. Nothing I ask for, within reason, should be a problem. The server is not doing me a favor; he is doing his job.

I know it sounds a little callous, but I am a good customer. I understand that it’s not the server’s fault when the food isn’t right, or if we have to wait. I don’t complain unless it’s really, really bad service. I often strike up conversations and bond with the servers, and I treat them with respect.

I’m sure servers could write a list of annoying traits that customers have, and I try not to do any of those.

I tip well for good service and, sometimes, for so-so service. I was a waitress at a pizza place in college, just on buffet nights. I still remember the family who came in every week, brought their kid and made a humongous mess — and never tipped.

Most of us know the fast-food chain that requires servers to say, “My pleasure.” That’s a far cry better than “No problem,” even if it’s forced on them as a requirement of the job.

My brother said his pet peeve is servers who don’t write down the order and try to remember it. “Just write it down,” he said.

An Arkansas Democrat-Gazette writer said his pet peeve is when a waitress asks, “How are we doing?” Is she including herself?

I was frustrated at a pizza place the other night because our waitress was friendly — unless we questioned her. When it took for-ev-er to get an appetizer, I asked, with a big smile, about it. Her big smile disappeared: “I rang the order in,” she said, curtly.

We did not complain that our food took a long time, too, and we said thank you repeatedly when she refilled our glasses. I noticed she hung out and talked to people at other tables. When it was time for us to leave, she took my husband’s credit card and said, “I’ll be right back.” She

immediately turned to a table next to us and started shooting the breeze, laughing, standing, talking. I couldn’t believe it. She just kept standing there, my husband’s credit card in her hand, as if we had all night. We actually had to be somewhere.

My husband told her, as nicely as possible, that we needed to leave. Again, her face turned to stone. She brought the ticket, and with no expression and no emotion in her voice, said, “Have a good night.” Sigh.

My friend’s husband said what he doesn’t like is when people respond, “I’m good,” when a waiter asks if anyone needs anything.

This wonderful, funny, affable man said what he would like is for the server not to talk to him at all.

Lucky for him, his wife is a wonderful cook, and they rarely go out to eat.

He’s good. No problem.

Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.

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