After reading Michael Storey's "storey" about canceled shows (look right), you might be wondering what is left to watch? Besides the insides of your eyelids.
Well, there's a new Fox reality dating show called Coupled (8 p.m. Tuesdays; full episodes at fox.com/coupled).
Right now you're thinking you're better off with those eyelids. But I'm going to defend this Bachelor-wannabe, helicopters-hot-tubs-and-bikinis show. Shallow? Yes. But amusing in a mindless summer way.
Michael mentioned the show produced by Survivor mastermind Mark Burnett (usually a good sign) in a recent TV Column. I'll let host Terrence J (formerly of E! News) remind you of the premise, and then we'll break down last week's premiere.
"Meeting someone special in today's world? It's not easy," he says in the first episode. "We make split-second decisions about love based on photos and a flick of the wrist. Here we are in Anguilla with 12 beautiful, accomplished, sophisticated women who are looking to find the perfect someone. ... A constant stream of accomplished, eligible guys looking for love will be arriving by helicopter with one goal in mind -- to find the perfect woman."
Accomplished. Therein it's different from the Bachelor franchise where contestants' "professions" have included "twin," "free spirit" and "dog lover."
Meeting women like Dominique, a 29-year-old lawyer; Talyah, a 27-year-old substance abuse coach; and Brittany, a 24-year-old beauty company chief executive officer; we're encouraged.
And so is 33-year-old photographer Kristin: "Everybody just seems very independent and beautiful and has such a passion to want to succeed and, like, they're driven."
We have to agree. There's not even one model.
Spoke too soon. Meet model Alyssa, age 32. Still, modeling is a job. It's not like being a princess, waiting for her prince charming to come.
Oh, hi, Terecia, 26, theme park princess. We're positive she's an accomplished theme park princess.
At least there is more diversity in this cast than other dating shows. There are several women of color, and one of the first men to meet the women is black. But first, we'll get the white dude out of the way.
The women meet Miami Vice-dressed Alex, 26, who they're told is a hip-hop, reggae and alternative musician seeking his soul mate. We suspect he just wanted a lift to the beach. After initial one-on-ones with him, the women have a choice to go to the tiki bar and get to know him better, or head back to the bungalows. Coupled women are "empowered," Terrence explains: "Women decide if he's worth their time. Walking left means she's not feeling it and she'll wait for the next guy. But if they walk right, that means there is some chemistry and now it's his turn to choose."
We're greatly entertained when Alex expects Dominique to be waiting for him at the bar, but she sneaks away. Then Alex says that Alex, a female radio personality, will choose him because they have the same name ("Alex , we've got to stick together always!"); she high-tails it back to the bungalows.
He chooses CEO Brittany (maybe she can support him) and 30-year-old sales rep Lindsey of the lovely, long hair (maybe she can market him, or dance on a car in his video).
He spends much of the overnight date drooling over Brittany, who believes he's genuine. A genuine jerk, we think. He mostly ignores Lindsey. At least until it's time to make his decision, and then he genuinely surprises us and Brittany by choosing Lindsey. The unlikely couple now goes to live nearby at the Couples Villa.
Brittany is left to continue her search for a "showmance." And to make cookies?
When the next guy -- dark-skinned 29-year-old digital advertising executive Imari -- has his one-on-ones, Brittany (when did she have the time?) presents him with a plate of fresh bungalow-baked goodness.
Such domesticity ought to be right up Imari's alley. After all, this is what he says he wants in a partner: "I love a woman who holds me accountable. You want someone who's going to say, 'Imari, you're [bleep!] up right now! Get it together!'" Imari seems to need not a lover, but a mother.
Brittany might have cookies, but the ones really sweet on Imari are Talyah and Dominique. Will he pick them for the overnight date? We'll have to tune in tonight when Coupled continues. Season previews reveal tons of tiffs, "I-made-a-mistake" texting and tension as pairs are formed and feelings are hurt.
When it comes to dramatic moments, Coupled will have more than a couple.
Accomplish an email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 05/24/2016