RESTAURANT REVIEW: Hideaway Pizza not shy on toppings

Hideaway Pizza, a recent export from Oklahoma, is a bit less earthshaking and a lot more welcome than the 5.0 tremor that shook the region last week.

On the up side, it's a worthy competitor for the other half-dozen or so chain pizza places along North Little Rock's McCain Boulevard-U.S. 67/167 corridor. We liked the pizza, pasta and appetizers and it all came out of the kitchen in a reasonable period of time -- a bit of a surprise considering how new-chain-restaurant-on-the-block packed it has been.

Hideaway nods to locals through a prominent hanging collage/mural consisting of Arkansas and North Little Rock photos (that's a hallmark of this particular chain). The folks who think up the specialty menu items think outside the box. (Example: table fliers have been promoting a special Oktoberfest pizza topped with mozzarella, sauerkraut, bratwurst, red onion, cheddar, jalapenos and Bavarian mustard.)

On the downside, it is a chain restaurant. So it's noisy. It's kid-friendly, so a lot of small children contribute to the volume level.

There is practically no place in the segmented, sectionalized dining room where you can avoid a view of one of the flat-screen televisions, almost all of which, though the place has no official pretensions toward being a sports bar, are tuned to sports programming.

Oh, and there's that slightly creepy mascot/logo creature, of whom the menu helpfully explains, "Oh, and that funny looking pizza guy? His name is Kahuna." Kahuna looks sort of like a Shmoo, a blue, kidney-shaped creature that originated in the brain and pen of L'il Abner creator Al Capp, but with a bow tie and mop of crazy hair.

"You can say he represents us," the menu explanation continues. "We don't take ourselves too seriously. We're independent individuals who are comfortable in our own skin. We're inclusive, a little quirky, and we like to have a little fun. (OK, a whole lot of fun!) But when it's time for business, we're 100 percent about the pizza and your experience."

Kahuna seems to lend Hideaway a slight but quasi-mythical Hawaiian air, represented in a couple of the specialty pizzas -- one with red sauce, mozzarella, Canadian bacon, pineapple and Mandarin oranges is called "Maui Magic"; a pie with olive oil and garlic glaze, mozzarella and feta cheeses, grilled chicken, smoked bacon and sun-dried tomatoes is called the "Little Kahuna."

And recent additions to the menu are branded as "New & Kahuna Approved!" (We're not exactly sure just how that is supposed to reassure customers that these items are thereby worth ordering, but if it's good enough for Kahuna. ...)

In its initial phase, as with a lot of chain operations, there is a literal crowd of service personnel on the floor -- the restaurant's actual wait and bus staff, in tie-dyed T-shirts specific to this location; experienced servers who are temporary or permanent emigres from other Hideaway locations in Oklahoma (wearing T-shirts tie-dyed in different colors and/or patterns); training personnel (in blue Polo shirts); management (some in other-color Polo shirts, some in button-down dress shirts); and corporate personnel. Figuring out the "shirt hierarchy" could give you a few moments of diversion from the football games and auto races on TV.

If you're a single diner, the folks up front will try to divert you to the bar, even if there is no wait for a table, as there was on our first visit. At least you can get full food service there. (Tables turn over pretty quickly, so even at peak periods we had no trouble snagging one.)

We enjoyed both our appetizers, even though we discovered that ordering appetizers in front of a pizza or a pasta entree guarantees you will overeat.

The "New & Kahuna Approved!" Cheesy Garlic Bread ($6.95) is eight slices of thick and slightly fluffy house-made French bread, basted in garlic butter and topped with a blend of melted cheddar and mozzarella cheeses and "our Parmesan-herb shake." The front slices were too big to conveniently dip in the tangy side marinara dipping sauce. You can also get a side of Gorgonzola Alfredo sauce for $2.45. Just-plain garlic bread is $4.95.

Believe the spicy part in the menu description for the "spicy cream cheese and vegetable stuffing" for the Baked Stuffed Mushrooms ($7.55), tabbed as a "favorite item." There are enough of the medium-size mushroom caps, topped with mozzarella and "baked golden brown," for two people to share.

We were somewhat disappointed, however, by the Hideaway House Salad ($2.99), mostly because we trusted the photo more than the menu description, which is pretty accurate: "Crisp iceberg lettuce and grated parmesan cheese tossed in our own Italian vinaigrette and topped with black olives and a pepperoncini." That turned out to be three black olives and one pepperoncini pepper, on the side. We liked the vinaigrette, but iceberg lettuce, no matter how you dress it, is still iceberg lettuce. (You know, the kind that sank the Titanic.)

The Homemade Lasagna ($10.95), served en casserole, turned out to be a lot of pasta for the money. Flat, firm noodles come distinctly layered with ricotta, parmesan and mozzarella cheeses and "our Italian sausage marinara sauce," topped with melted mozzarella and baked until it's the temperature of the sun (and we do recommend caution in making your initial approach). Two slices of garlic bread are a nice lagniappe.

Pizzas come in three sizes: 10, 13 and 16 inches. Basic cheese pizzas run $9.25-$14.25; toppings are each $1 to $1.80 depending on the size of the pie. Crust options are hand-tossed or thin (gluten-free is available on the 10-inch pie, $3 extra); there are five sauce options: "Our famous Hideaway Red Sauce," Hideaway BBQ, Alfredo, Olive Oil & Garlic Glaze and Pesto. (The menu says that's nut-free, but is it really pesto without pine nuts?)

We opted for hand-tossed crusts on both our pies, starting with a small build-your-own with mushrooms and Italian sausage. (Non-Italian sausage and Polish sausage are other meat options, along with Canadian bacon, Genoa salami, grilled chicken, hamburger, meatballs, pepperoni and smoked bacon -- oh, and anchovies. There's an even wider choice of vegetables, including artichoke hearts, kalamata olives and green chiles.) We loved the sauce, which has a slightly smoky savor as well as a nice, tangy kick. The hand-tossed crust was firm and held up well into the consumption process. We'd gauge the toppings as adequate, though not really generous.

We found pretty much all of the nearly two dozen specialty pies had at least one ingredient that sort of turned us off -- for example, the cheddar topping on the otherwise interesting-sounding Big Country (red sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, Canadian bacon, Polish sausage and hamburger).

Though we were a little leery about the jalapenos, we settled on The Xtreme ($14.45, $18.25, $23.25), Hideaway's version of supreme/sweep-the-floor, topped also with red sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, Italian sausage, Canadian bacon, sausage, Genoa salami, fresh mushrooms, black and green olives, green bell peppers and red onions and the house "Parmesan-herb shake."

It turned out to be a heck of a pie. We correctly diagnosed that a thin crust would be inadequate to handle the impressive total topping load. All the flavors played well together, including the jalapenos, which were fresh and comparatively mild. After a couple of starters, however, we had too much food. About half the pizza went into a box to take home, along with the red plastic Hideaway Pizza cups, refilled with the soft drinks of our choice. (Hideaway serves Pepsi products, in case that affects your choice. There's also a full and busy bar.)

With all those people on the floor, service was generally excellent -- when we could actually hear the server over all that noise.

Weekend on 11/10/2016