FAYETTEVILLE — Bret and Jen Bielema were sitting in a restaurant in Fayetteville on Saturday night when Arkansas’ head coach received a phone call from Marty Ragnow, mother of junior center Frank Ragnow.
He ignored the call the first time, but stepped outside and answered when she called him back immediately. That's when he was hit with the news: Jon Ragnow, her husband and Frank’s father, died of a heart attack shortly after watching the Razorbacks’ 52-10 win over Alcorn State at the family’s Victoria, Minn., home.
The phone call set in motion a whirlwind evening for the Bielemas, who ditched their dinner and wound up flying to Minnesota with Ragnow on businessman Warren Stephens’ private plane, a touching decision not every coach would make, especially given the looming matchup with No. 1 Alabama.
Marty Ragnow purposefully called Bielema before she called her son.
“She wanted me to be with him when she told him,” a visibly emotional Bielema said. “Unfortunately, I’ve had this preparation before. I lost a sibling way too early in life and had two players go through some similar experiences. So I took a deep breath.”
Bielema called senior left tackle Dan Skipper, who was with his fiancée, to find out where Ragnow was. His next call was to Ragnow, to summon him to the Football Performance Center.
“Told him I needed to talk to him about something on film,” Bielema said. “Got him to laugh a little bit. He showed up at the complex on a scooter and I think once he saw me, he knew something was up. I said, ‘Hey, I love you. Here’s the phone and here’s your mom.’ So it was a tough couple hours.”
Ragnow will likely miss much of practice this week, understandably, but told Bielema he wanted to play against Alabama on Saturday while sitting in the Football Performance Center basement shortly after hearing the news. Austin Allen, Brooks Ellis, Connor McPherson, Karl Roesler met Ragnow and Bielema at Bielema’s office to be with their friend.
Stephens allowed Ragnow to use his plane to fly back to Minnesota. The NCAA allowed Bret and Jen to accompany him what would have otherwise been a lonely flight back.
“When Jen and I first moved here, Frank was on his official visit,” Bielema said. “ We were recounting that evening. We were trying to get him to laugh, have just a moment of a different feeling on the plane Saturday night. We were talking and telling stories.
“On his home visit, as a head coach you’re only allowed there one time, I was telling this story. We were down in the basement and his mom had made an easel, a picture stand. I was commenting on the pictures. One of the things I like to do when I go in the home is look at family pictures and make fun of the young men I’m recruiting just to have a lighthearted moment.
“I put my hand out on the easel and I flipped a whole tray of about 15 family photos. We were laughing about that because Jon made a comment about how that’s probably not appropriate for the head coach to bust a family photo during a home visit of a kid we’re trying to get.
“Just one of those light-hearted moments. Frank shared with me that one of the reasons he came here for his first visit was because his dad urged him to come here and take a look because of our history and tradition and what we’ve done here. Pretty special family.”
The Bielemas arrived back in Fayetteville around 2 a.m. Sunday. Bret watched game film on the flight back after the latest show of genuine affection for his players. He’s dealt with similar circumstances before.
“I was a young linebacker coach at the University of Iowa and we were playing at the Sun Bowl before they had cell phones,” Bielema said. “I was at a restaurant — Mexican joint. One of my linebackers, Mark Mitchell, his mom and dad were in a car accident on the drive to the Sun Bowl and he lost his mother in the accident. I went and found him and we got on a plane. At that time, Bellsouth or somebody gave us a jet and we flew home. It was just he and I and the pilots and I remember how much it meant to his parents to deliver him home that night.
“Lost another when I was linebackers coach at the University of Iowa. Travis Centers, his father was a football coach. Lost his father and I remember dealing with a moment there and the situation that came about, trying to make the most of a bad situation.
Bielema had empathy for both of those players and Ragnow. He's been in their shoes. The same day his Iowa Hawkeyes beat Michigan in 1990, his 27-year-old sister, Betsy, died after hitting her head when she was thrown from a horse while doing charity work in Seattle.
“We got the news and I had six of my buddies pile in a mini van and drive me home," Bielema said. "Nobody said a word, but to be in the van with six guys that, I think four of the six have been in my wedding, guys that are friends forever.
“When you’re a head coach, now it’s changed. One of the things I’ll do with the parents, I’ll say, ‘Hey, I can’t promise them playing time. I can’t promise them a degree. But one thing I can tell you is I’ll always look out for your son’s best interests.’ I say that every time and I mean it.”
Not every coach would have made the long roundtrip to and from a distant state to escort a grieving player, much less when factoring in an upcoming game against the top-ranked team in the nation.
But Bielema did. Again.