Coffeeisforclosers_ probably should have stuck with coffee.
That's the Reddit user name of a British man -- although he's practically an Arkansan now -- who said he recently bought a plot of land sight unseen in North Little Rock in an online auction.
Only it wasn't java that got him in the predicament.
"Basically I'm in the UK and bought this, while a little hungover," he commented on Reddit's Little Rock subreddit section, where he posted a picture of the plot with the heading "Anyone know where this is?"
He continued, "I have no clue where it is and if it's a good or bad purchase. ... I've won it, woke up to a few phone calls and an invoice from the auction house. Expensive night on the beer!"
Users identified the 7,840-square-foot residential lot as being located on I Street in North Little Rock by Walnut Grove Baptist Church. (Not actually in Little Rock, as the auction stated before launching into this description: "Little Rock -- see photos of this great city in the auction gallery along with photos of your building plot -- is the capital and the most populous city of the U.S. state of Arkansas. Little Rock is a cultural, economic, government and transportation center within Arkansas and the South.")
KTHV reporter Michael Buckner, who broke the now-viral story, revealed that Mark Hall is the real name of Coffeeisforclosers_, who claims he bought the land from BidSpotter, a real estate auction site.
As for how much it cost him, he replied, "More than a beer." Later he'd divulge that between the property and legal fees, he would owe $1,490. Not helping his hangover was the user who pointed out, "Not sure what your property tax will be like, though. That may be a pain." And of course, there's the issue of maintenance. And insurance. And liability.
"Oh god, what have a [sic] done!!" Coffeeisforclosers_ moaned online.
Reddit user ElectronSpiderwort offered this reply: "In a nutshell, you've bought a church parking lot in a lower-income section of ... Arkansas, USA. I think it makes a great story, which makes life more interesting. Congrats!"
Interesting, for sure. Wrote one user, checking out the area via street view, "there's even a guy using his lawnmower as an automobile." Others pointed out the area was "OMG downwind of the tyson chicken processing facility woof" and also "the recycling facility. Yum." and "not to mention right next to the airport."
As for the intentions of Coffeeisforclosers_, one user asked "Be honest: Is this the re-invasion of America? It all starts with one man's drunk purchase, the next thing you know we're all sitting down for tea!"
Another wrote in response, "This is Arkansas you're talking about. As long as the tea is sweet we'll be happy lol."
And now we've gone from beer to coffee to tea. But we're about to get back to beer again.
Our new neighbor from across the pond says he'd like to put the land to use: "Actually I'd like to do something good with it. Wild park maybe. Any and all ideas welcome."
A community garden, playground, food truck court and -- of course -- a beer garden were suggested.
In a separate post, a user took the community garden idea and ran with it: "So this guy from the UK, hungover (possibly still drunk?), buys a lot in Rose City. With a little coordination and a simple morning of volunteering, we could make this into a community garden or something. BYOB, and feel free to bring a little bit of starter herb for our herb garden. It would make a good story and we can get (drunk) and help the community. ... Let's say a tentative date of 4/15, a Sunday."
Of course, this poster might have been drunk too -- or on a kind of herb. After all, 4/15 was Saturday, not a Sunday. So this event might have happened yesterday. This might be happening today. It might never happen (plans were not finalized by press time).
Still Coffeeisforclosers_ was cool with whatever: "I'm 100% up for anything positive to come from this, as long as it's not another hangover and bill." He offered to send a point person $100 via PayPal to buy beer for volunteers who turned out.
Of course, isn't beer how this all began?
Land an email here:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 04/16/2017