August is when July's fireworks have run out and September's flaming foliage has yet to arrive -- the month that sizzles all by itself. August: the month of hot dogs, hot mustard, hot jazz, baked potatoes, melted marshmallows, steam engines, volcanic eruptions and a hunka-hunka burnin' love.
1 Moby Dick author Herman Melville's birthday, 1819; International Clown Week; National Traffic Awareness Month. Thar she blows, big red nose, stop-and-goes.
PURPLE REIGN
Tontitown Grape Festival through Aug. 5, Tontitown near Fayetteville. Carnival, grape ice cream, spaghetti dinners Aug. 3-5. Details at tontitowngrapefestival.com. Call (479) 361-2615.
FLYING MONKEY BUSINESS
The Wizard of Oz stage musical through Aug. 26 at Murry's Dinner Playhouse, Little Rock. Details at murrysdp.com. Call (501) 562-3131.
SORRY, CHARLIE
2 National Catfish Month. Catfish -- tuna -- catfish -- tuna -- and catfish wins by a whisker.
DON'T TAKE THAT GIRL
3 Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, 7:30 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.
4 Arkansas actor and Bad Santa Billy Bob Thornton's 62nd birthday.
• "Well, they can't all be winners." -- Bad Santa
HELLO, YELLOW
5 How to celebrate National Mustard Day: back at the spread.
AXL AND HIS AXE
Guns N' Roses, 6:30 p.m. at War Memorial Stadium, Little Rock. Details at livenation.com. Call (800) 745-3000
TURN UP THE VOLUMES
Arkansas Book and Paper Show through Aug. 6 at Jacksonville Community Center, Jacksonville. Details at arkansasbookandpapershow.com.
PEEK-A-BOOTY
National Underwear Day. Press briefing reveals creeping trends: Men think inside the boxers. Women say thanks but no thongs.
"I DO" DOOZY
6 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bridal Show, 12:30-5 p.m. at the Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Details at arkansasbridalcommunity.com. Call (501) 378-3807.
SIBLING REVERIE
Sisters Day -- and a sisterly sis-boom-bah to the Pointer Sisters, Lennon Sisters, Andrews Sisters and all those great sister acts in the back seat and around the dinner table.
TILE WE MEET AGAIN
Marvelous Mah Jongg Mania tournament, 12:15 p.m. registration at Synagogue Agudath Achim, Little Rock. Details at lrsynagogue.org.
TELEPATHIC DEMOGRAPHIC
7 Psychic Week. The difference between a psychic and a tourist in New York is that one is a seer with ESP, and the other is a sight-seer with EST.
ON THE ROCKS
National Lighthouse Day -- or as it's known in Arkansas, firefly watch.
ENAMEL ENAMORED
8 How to celebrate National Smile Week: with gap coverage.
MOONED AGAIN
9 Romance Awareness Month is time for a tryst, a fateful encounter -- not to be confused with a Triscuit, a snack cracker.
HIGHWAYS AND BUY WAYS
10 Bargains Galore on 64 through Aug. 12, yard sales along 160 miles of U.S. 64 from Fort Smith to Beebe. Details at bargainsgaloreon64.org.
RIND AND SEEK
Hope Watermelon Festival through Aug. 12 in Fair Park, Hope -- watermelon eating, seed spitting and giant melon auction. Joe Diffie concert, 8:30 p.m. Aug. 12. Details at hopemelonfest.com. Call (870) 777-3640.
ST. LOUIS SCHMOOZE
Missouri admission day, 1821. The "Show Me" state admits that some people have to be told, besides.
GOO'ED NEWS
National S'mores Day -- on a stick.
THE PLURAL OF ELVIS? -- ELVI
11 Elvis Week of impersonators and other Elvis-related impressions, concerts, reunions, candlelight vigil, through Aug. 19 in Memphis. Details at graceland.com.
BON VOYAGE,
ENJOY THE GARAGE
12 National Garage Sale Day Heap, heap, hooray.
HANDY DANDY
13 International Left-handers Day. Famous lefties include all but which one of these handy dandies: (A) Bill Clinton, (B) Leonardo da Vinci, (C) Jack the Ripper, (D) country singer Lefty ("If You've Got the Money, I've Got the Time") Frizzell
Answer at Aug. 28.
BLANKET STATEMENT
14 National Picnic Month -- when life is just a bowl of green potato salad.
INCLINED TO RECLINE
15 How to celebrate National Relaxation Day: horizontally.
CLICKETY-CLACK
AND DON'T LOOK BACK
16 National Roller Coaster Day: Scream-inducing, bone-rattling rides include X-Coaster at Magic Springs amusement park, Hot Springs; the Cyclone at Coney Island, N.Y.; and the New York Stock Exchange.
BIRTHDAY BOY (1)
17 Davy Crockett's birthday, 1786.
• "Be always sure you're right, then go ahead." -- Davy Crockett.
HARLEY PARLEY
18 Mountains, Music and Motorcycles through Aug. 19, Mountain View. Details at yourplaceinthemountains.com. Call (870) 269-8068.
HULU LULU
Hawaii admission day, 1959. Hawaii admits that a chef who is said to be "laki" (lucky) on the islands is a poi boy who made good.
BIRTHDAY BOY (2)
19 Bill Clinton's 71st birthday.
• "You know, everybody makes mistakes." -- Bill Clinton.
THIS SPUD'S FOR YOU
How to celebrate National Potato Day: all in the same gravy boat.
CTHULHU LULU
20 "The Rats in the Walls" writer H.P. Lovecraft's birthday, 1890. Nothing says it better about another birthday than, "Aw, rats."
RHYME AND REASON
21 Poets Day -- haunted by H.P. Lovecraft.
When cosmic terror comes calling,
And tentacles abound,
Best hide beneath the covers,
And don't dare make a sound;
But here's a bit of comfort
To chase away the blues:
That growling in the deep, dark night
Is just the TV news.
IT'S HER, BY CUSPID
22 National Tooth Fairy Day, and Chopper One is on the scene. Authorities have the area cordoned off with floss. Police report reads: "Somebody put the bite on her for a dollar. Description of suspect: toothless."
(Some calendars say Tooth Fairy Day is Feb. 28, some say Aug. 22. Which will it be -- uppers or lowers?)
PEACH PATCH
Johnson County Fair through Aug. 26, Clarksville. Details at thejohnsoncountyfair.org. Call (479) 774-5391.
VIRGOS DRIVE PICKER-UPPERS
23 VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If so, you're the one with the broom, sweeping up all those cake crumbs after the party. Nobody knows neat like a nit-picky Virgo. Paint the town red -- no spots, no streaks, and wash that brush -- with fellow do-it-righters Star Trek actor Chris Pine, 37 on Aug. 26, and James Bond Sean Connery, 87 on Aug. 25.
LAVA, COME BACK TO ME
24 Vesuvius Day remembers the volcano that erupted on this day, 79 A.D.
CIVIC CABOOSTERS
25 Frisco Festival celebrates railroad heritage through Aug. 26, downtown Rogers, Details at mainstreetrogers.com. Call (479) 936-5487.
ZINGIN' COWBOYS
26 David Lee Murphy with Black Strap and The Burners, 7 p.m., downtown El Dorado. Details at mainstreeteldorado.com. Call (870) 862-4747.
SQUEEZED TO MEET'CHA
The Cigar Box Men, a musical remembrance of Hot Springs' Prohibition years, when moonshine-makers carried their corn squeezin' profits in cigar boxes, 7 p.m. at Hot Springs Convention Center. Details at funcitychorus.org.
DROP THE MICA
Gem, Mineral and Fossil Show through Aug. 27 at Baxter County Fairgrounds, Mountain Home. Details at ozarkearthscience.com.
HOW MUCH CHUCK
WOULD A CHUCK WAGON CHUCK?
National Championship Chuckwagon Races through Sept. 3 at the Bar of Ranch, Clinton. Trail rides, concerts and related activities start Aug. 26, races Sept. 1-3. Details at chuckwagonraces.com. Call (501) 745-8407.
DEAR SIR, YOU CUR
National Dog Day, and Lassie is trying to tell us something. What is it, fella? Charades clue: an old saying. "Every dog has his day."
EARTH ANGELS
27 How to celebrate Global Forgiveness Day: with pardon-yous all around.
CLOBBERIN' TIME
28 Marvel comics artist Jack "The King" Kirby's birthday, 1917. He drew The Mighty Thor, The Incredible Hulk and the galaxy-devouring Galactus.
• "I draw people as I see them" -- Jack Kirby.
THUMBS UP
Idle hands quiz answer: (D) Lefty Frizzell. Left-handed or not, he claimed to have picked up the nickname for having won a fight with his left swing -- not to be confused with country swing.
SEASONED ADVICE
29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day. Pass the popcorn with parsley and catnip on it.
MONSTER MASH
30 Frankenstein Day. Frankenstein author Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's birthday, 1797.
Toasted Marshmallow Day.
"It lives!" cried the doctor;
"That much I can tell.
"But feed it on s'mores,
"Or it doesn't live well."
BADA-BING, CHICKA-BOOM
31 Hot Springs JazzFest, various locations through Sept. 3. Details at hsjazzsociety.org.
GRIN ON THE WAY IN,
POUT ON THE WAY OUT
Last day of Admit You're Happy Month -- last chance to exit laughing. Happy-happy, let's see a smile. Or else, here comes Mr. Tickle.
Coming next month: September! Write to Ron Wolfe at
rwolfe@arkansasonline.com
by Aug. 15 to suggest September calendar entries or how to celebrate September as Better Breakfast Month, such as: Cheerio! All entries require a web address and/or phone number that is answered during business hours.
Style on 08/01/2017