A Let's Talk
Christmas card
My dear readers,
May the joy of Christmas totally overtake you. May the meat be tender; the veggies not overcooked. May the calories in the pies, cakes and sweet potato casserole magically disappear. May your family all get along.
May your gift recipients all like their gifts, and may you not have to spend all of 2018 paying for them.
While we're at it, I wish you a happy New Year, one that proves to be much smoother sailing than the old.
For instance, may you be safe from hurricanes, floods, wildfires and other natural disasters; if you've been a victim of any, may your recovery be speedy and of better-than-before quality. May you travel, attend concerts, attend school and worship in safety. May you choose your battles wisely and be quicker with the thinking than you are with the lip. May your relationships, short-and-long term, be fruitful and peaceful. May you not be caught up in celebrity-esque separation/divorce/baby/custody/lawsuits. May you not get kicked off any airplanes and may your road-rage incidents be non-existent. (To quote the song from Frozen: Let it go!)
May your favorite face-to-face retail establishments remain open for business (although, if your favorites include a certain grocery-store chain operating in Arkansas, may it not be so crowded as to need aisle traffic lights when you're forced to shop on a Sunday). And when you order from your favorite online retail establishment, may your packages remain on your porch. Oh, and for that matter, may the thieves leave your porch furniture/decor alone, too.
May your heroes indeed be heroic. May they not exhibit scoundrel behavior in the present, nor may they be found to have exhibited it in the past.
May Taylor Swift find one guy and stay with him and quit hiding messages in her songs. (OK. Sorry, this is supposed to be about you, Dear Reader.) Ahem ...
May the calls from spoofed numbers, and the annoying spam texts, leave you and your cellphone in peace. May all your spoofers and spammers awake to find that their personal home and cell numbers have been published by WikiLeaks.
May you refrain from doing any dangerously dumb pranks for YouTube purposes ... especially any involving cement, a microwave oven and your head.
May you win the sweepstakes you're always entering -- desperately liking their sponsors on Facebook and following on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest in order to garner extra entries -- rather than just winning more junk email (Oops, there I go again. Another wish for myself.).
May you not burn the candle at both ends and, speaking of ends, may they meet. May you at least run out of month and money at about the same time. May your shutoff and cancellation notices be scarce. May your cupboard be full. And if you've forgotten what a raise is, may you know again.
May you stick to your New Year's resolutions. (By the way, it's a fortnight and two days until your Jan. 2 gym-hitting date. And if you keep it up, chances are you'll gradually find it easier to snag a treadmill or exercise bike when you go.)
May your coffee always be hot, your iced tea cold. May your laundry always be done, the bathroom always clean, your matching socks always together and your underwear plentiful.
May your dentist and your computer tech not peer into your mouth or at your computer and say, "I've never seen that before!"
May your single daughters find princes, and your unmarried sons princesses, rather than the frogs that always seem to be so croakin' plentiful.
May your favored Golden Globe, NAACP Image, Grammy, Oscar, Stellar award nominees win, and may the announcers get them right.
Oh, and may the Force be with you.
Signed,
The Talkmistress
May your emails be merry and light:
hwilliams@arkansasonline.com
Style on 12/17/2017