TO: Redlack 6: 900-B, foos, JJ;88th
FROM: 621-DL, Crissmit/9, of the Druds
RE: Cover blown!
Redlack 6: 900-B . . . shoot, can I call you Red? We're in a hurry. No time for pleasantries. Or full names, job description, species or galaxy origins.
Our cover's been blown!
Oh, heavens! The one spot we thought we could hide among humans--namely, in their government. With all the red tape, government jargon, confusing paper trails and general ineptness, we thought hiding out in Area 51, Lincoln County, Nevada, U.S.A., Earth, Milky Way, Universe 19,332, was the perfect landing spot. Now we've been uncovered. Or getting very close to it.
Just the other planet rotation around the star, officials with the military of the United States government, aka the brass at the Pentagon, made it official: They confirmed that there was, in fact, a government program that collected and analyzed "anomalous aerospace threats" in the 1950s and 1960s.
See? We thought we'd at least be saved by the bureaucratese or technobabble of these humans. But some pointy-headed (if only one head) type among the press corps figured out what "anomalous aerospace threats" meant: UFOs. That is, you and me, bub. Or the spaceships we rode in on.
How easy it was to hide all of our doings in a government file/program called the Advanced Aviation Threat Identification Program. In which all official inquiries were dumped. And hidden. No matter how many humans demanded to know what the government was hiding. What, the leadership worry? Or answer FOI requests? We managed to convince the brass to laugh off the interested and concerned as crackpots wearing tinfoil hats. (How strange that these creatures don't know the benefits of such tinfoil hats. They're all the rage on Galactic 7-HF.)
For years, we've had a safe place to hibernate and play, contact home and partake of that wonderful delicacy, desert sand. (Yum!) But now we might have to move. That is, if we can do so at night, to another remote place, and do so without using our lights, or at least lights that humans can see.
We could teleport to Siberia, but we've already told the human scientists that we don't have that technology, else they pester us into giving it to them. And no telling what they'd do with the knowledge. Besides, I've heard about Siberia. It's cold there.
We'll have to relocate. And I'm thinking of a more pleasant place than this (even without this delicious sand). It's remote. There's plenty of space to hide our activity. And the humans there mind their own business. How about a state called Arkansas, in the Delta region, maybe along Bayou Bartholomew, somewhere in Drew County? Call it Area 52.
For now, Red, we've got to bug out. I hear the humans are pulling out the big guns: Word is that the press is firing off FOI forms as this is written.
Meet you in Monticello.
Or over it.
Editorial on 12/21/2017