New beginnings: With 2018 comes clean computers, carnations, kazoos, common ground and Cabaret

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Main Calendar Illustration
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Main Calendar Illustration

January is the month of resolutions that come and go like eagles and snowflakes. The 12th Day of Christmas brings it all down to 12 drummers, six wives of Henry VIII, four Beatles, two kazoos, and a raven in a bare tree.

1 Hangover Day, New Year's Day, National Oatmeal Month. A morning of regret, a day of resolution, a bowl of stick-to-it.

FIRST STEP

First day hikes at state parks throughout Arkansas, including Mount Magazine State Park near Paris, Petit Jean State Park near Morrilton and Queen Wilhelmina State Park near Mena. Details at arkansas.com.

CHINESE FLYER DRILL

Shen Yun Chinese dance performance, 1 and 6 p.m. at Robinson Center Performance Hall, Little Rock. Details at shenyunperformingarts.org. Call (800) 380-8165.

SWING-A-DING-DING

Last jazzy day of Stuart Davis in Full Swing art show at Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, Bentonville. Details at crystalbridges.org. Call (479) 418-5700.

CHICKEN NOODLE WENT TO TOWN

2 How to celebrate National Soup Month: Slurp, slurp and away.

SOMETIMES YUKON,

SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T

3 Alaska Admission Day, 1959. Alaska admits to a yearning for Gnome, sweet Gnome, where the dawn comes up like tundra.

SOAR SUBJECTS

4 Eagle Tour, 10-11 a.m., and other times and dates throughout January at Lake Dardanelle State Park near Russellville. Details at arkansas.com. Call (479) 967-5516.

DRUMMERS BY THE DOZEN

5 The Twelfth Day of Christmas. All this madness started with a partridge in a pear tree, and he's still there -- afraid to come down.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

My true love sent to me:

• 12 drummers drumming;

• 11 credit cards billing;

• 10 orders still lost in the mail;

• 9 fruitcakes, re-gifted;

• 8 inflatable Santas, collapsed;

• And a library overdue fee.

GRAB A BYTE

6 National Clean Up Your Computer Month: Because data storage isn't really a cloud -- it's a closet.

COMPLEX CORTEX CONTEST

7 International Brain Teaser Month. If Dick has an IQ of 120, and Jane has an IQ of 130, how long will it take Dick and Jane together to build a dog house?

Answer at Jan. 27.

HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' CAKE

8 Elvis Presley's birthday, 1935.

SLIP-SLIDIN' AWAY

9 National Skating Month. Beware of slippery slopes.

VINE TIME HAD BY ALL

10 How to celebrate Houseplant Appreciation Day: with a fracas for the ficus, a ruckus for the crocus, and gala for the gladiola.

CARNATION VEXATION

11 The flower for January is the carnation, but it's complicated. A red carnation means "I love you," according to the Old Farmer's Almanac. White shows regret, and yellow means rejection. And a pink carnation means: (A) Affection, (B) Connection, (C) Rejection, (D) Dejection, or (E) All dressed up for the dance.

Answer at Jan. 27.

SWISH-SWISH COMES TRUE

12 Katy Perry, 7:30 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.

POST TIME

Live horse racing season through April 14 at Oaklawn Racing and Gaming, Hot Springs. Details at oaklawn.com. Call (501) 623-4411.

BITTERSWEET

Drama As Bees in Honey Drown through Jan. 13 and weekends through Jan. 27 at The Weekend Theater, Little Rock. Details at weekend theater.org. Call (501) 374-3761.

BIRD, PASS THE WORD

13 Eagle Awareness Weekend through Jan. 14 at Petit Jean State Park. Details at petitjeanstatepark.com. Call (501) 727-5441.

POOR BOY MAKES GOLD

Horatio Alger Jr.'s birthday, 1834. The author penned more than 100 rags-to-riches tales for boys, including Timothy Crump's Ward; or, The New Year Loan, and What Became of It.

"I mean to turn over a new leaf and grow up 'spectable." -- Horatio Alger Jr.

ALONE ON AN AISLE WITH YOU

14 Democrat-Gazette Bridal Show, 12:30 a.m.-5 p.m. at Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Details at arkansasbridalcommunity.com. Call (501) 378-3807.

DREAM ON

15 Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the federal and state holiday.

UNCLE SALMON WANTS YOU

16 Comedy Greater Tuna through Jan. 20 at Murrys Dinner Playhouse, Little Rock. Details at murrysdp.com. Call (501) 562-3131.

TIP-TIP-HOORAY

17 Be Kind to Food Servers Month. They feed the feedless.

BANJO MOJO

18 Ozark Mountain Music Festival at Basin Park Hotel, Eureka Springs, with Tall Tall Trees and Carry Nation and the Speakeasy. Details at ozarkmountainmusicfestival.com. Call (888) 388-4776.

JIG'S UP

19 Dublin Irish Dance, 7:30 p.m. at East Arkansas Community College Fine Arts Center, Forrest City. Details at eacc.edu. Call (870) 633-4480.

HOOP-DEE-DOO

Harlem Globetrotters, 7 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.

COME HEAR THE MUSIC PLAY

Broadway musical Cabaret through Jan. 21 at Walton Arts Center, Fayetteville. Details at waltonartscenter.org. Call (479) 443-5600.

POE BOY MAKES GOOD

Edgar Allen Poe's birthday, 1809; National Popcorn Day.

Once upon a day of floppin',

To the kitchen, I went --poppin',

Poppin' up a kettle

Of the crunchy snack that I adore,

When my wife, still in her jammies,

Did appear, and did implore:

"Make some more."

ALWAYS ROOM FOR CELLO

20 Fort Smith Symphony concert, Romantic Echoes with cellist Sang-Eun Lee, 7:30 p.m. at ArcBest Performing Arts Center, Fort Smith. Details at fortsmithsymphony.org.Call (479) 452-7575.

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Is today your birthday? If so, you're a deep one, and let that soak in. Aquarians set the trend of everybody carrying a bottled water in case of sudden dry mouth just when a person wants to say, "sassafras." Make waves with fellow water-bearers Oprah Winfrey, 64, and Tom Selleck, 73, both on January 29.

FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE

Alan Jackson, 7:30 p.m. at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock. Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.

EVERYBODY LOVES A NUT

21 Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Squirrel Appreciation Day.

SQUEEZE AND THANK YOU

National Hugging Day might be a winner, but it's too close to call.

SWEET EMBRACEABLE YEW

Tree huggers and squirrel huggers find common ground. C'mon, you -- get in here.

SPY'LL BE SEEING YOU

22 Seventy-second birthday of the Central Intelligence Agency, spanked to life by President Harry Truman.

STARTING FROM SCRATCH

23 National Handwriting Day underlines Declaration of Independence signer John Hancock's birthday, 1737.

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS,

TREPIDATION CALLS AHEAD,

TROUBLE SNEAKS IN

24 Drama The Call through Feb. 11 at Arkansas Repertory Theatre, Little Rock. Details at therep.org. Call (501) 378-0405.

• Theatre2 drama The Humans through Feb. 18 at Walton Arts Center, Fayetteville. Details at theatre2.org.Call (479) 443-5600.

DING-DONG, THE BELLS

ARE GONNA CHIME,

CHIME, CHIME, CHIME ...

25 England's King Henry VIII marries his second of six wives, Anne Boleyn, 1537.

BRUSH DELIVERY

26 "Becoming John Maris: Modernist at Work" exhibit through April 22 at Arkansas Arts Center, Little Rock. Details at arkansasartscenter.org. Call (501) 372-4000.

MANY HAPPY RETURNS

Gen. Douglas MacArthur's birthday, 1880, in Little Rock. He liked to say he was from Virginia, though -- proving the adage that old generals never die, they just move away.

IQ HOODOO

27 Brain sprain quiz answer: If Dick has an IQ of 120, and Jane has an IQ of 130, their combined super-genius IQ of 250 and consequence understanding of the universe will enable them to build a dog house in one big bang.

FLOWER ARRANGEMENT

Carnation translation quiz answer: (A) Affection, but it also takes a white sports coat to put the idea across.

ROLL OVER, BEETHOVEN

Arkansas Symphony Orchestra concert, Tchaikovsky's Passion, 7 p.m. Jan. 27 and 3 p.m. Jan. 28 at Robinson Center Performance Hall, Little Rock. Details at arkansassymphony.org. Call (501) 666-1761.

WHAT'S THE BUZZ?

28 National Kazoo Day. Goin' to the zummm-zummm-zummm.

WHAT'S POPPIN'?

29 Bubblewrap Appreciation Day -- for those who didn't find National Kazoo Day annoying enough.

HELLO, GOODBYE

30 The Beatles perform for the last time together on a rooftop in London, 1969.

RUBBA-TUMP-TUB

31 Whoops! -- last day of National Bath Safety Month.

Coming next month: February! Write to Ron Wolfe at

rwolfe@arkansasonline.com

by Jan. 15 to suggest February calendar entries or how to celebrate February as Grapefruit Month, such as: like they do in Paris -- with an eyeful shower. All entries require a web address and/ or phone number that is answered during business hours.

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RON WOLFE SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Tax time Illustration

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RON WOLFE SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Squirrel Illustration

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RON WOLFE SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bottom left Illustration

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RON WOLFE SPECIAL TO THE DEMOCRAT-GAZETTE

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bottle Illustration

Style on 12/26/2017

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