At least Mason Plumlee won't have to wait in line at the Oregon Department of Motor Vehicles.
Plumlee, a member of the Portland Trail Blazers when he awoke Sunday morning, was getting into his car to drive to practice when he discovered someone had broken into his SUV in the garage of his apartment complex in Portland's Pearl District.
His wallet was gone, which meant he needed to cancel his credit cards and checkbook. Replacing his driver's license would have to wait, of course. Good thing.
Plumlee, a four-year NBA veteran and former Duke Blue Devil, hadn't even started getting his cards in order when he was summoned to the office of Neil Olshey, the Blazers' president of basketball operations. Coach Terry Stotts was also in the office.
"They told me I wasn't going to practice today,'' Plumlee said.
Plumlee, the Blazers' starting center who was having a career season with averages of 11.1 points, 8.0 rebounds and 4.0 assists per game, had been traded to Denver for 22-year-old center Jusuf Nurkic and a 2017 first round pick.
A thank-you note to Portland fans and teammates was posted by Plumlee on Facebook, thanking them for their support during his nearly two-year stay.
No mention was made of the person who stole his wallet.
'An absolute scandal'
The U.S. Tennis Association issued an apology to Germany for playing the Nazi-era version of the German national anthem before a Fed Cup match in Hawaii on Sunday.
German team Coach Barbara Ritter said the mistake was "an absolute scandal, a disrespectful incident and inexcusable."
She added that she was so upset she thought about going over and ripping the microphone away from the Maui opera singer, who performed the outdated "Deutschland, Deutschland Uber Alles in der Welt" version before the match between German Andrea Petkovic and American Alison Riske.
Petkovic, who lost the match 7-6 (12-10), 6-2, told reporters: "I have never felt so disrespected in my life,. It was an absolute effrontery and insolence, of the very worst kind ... We're in 2017 -- something like this should not happen in America. Jule Gorges immediately began to howl when she heard the singer's first words. And I also had tears in my eyes and was angry."
The offensive first verse of the anthem translates to: "Germany, Germany, above all, above all in the world." It was used as Nazi propaganda by Adolf Hitler, and banned after WWII. The "Deutshlandlied" anthem, which was written in 1841, is still the official anthem of the country, but the modern version starts with the third stanza.
The only thing more awkward than playing the Nazi-era anthem was the apology issued by the USTA:
"In no way did we mean any disrespect," the statement read. "This mistake will not occur again, and the correct anthem will be performed for the remainder of the first round."
Stay off Earl's lawn
Hall of Fame running back Earl Campbell, 61, sounded a bit crotchety in an interview with USA Today.
"Football is not played like it was when I played," Campbell said. " 'I can't play because I've got a hangnail on my toe. I can't play because I didn't get a pedicure this week. ... ' That wouldn't have got the job done back in my day."
Sports on 02/14/2017