As surely as winter brings with it falling temperatures and shorter days, so too does it bring myriad work and family social engagements.
From the company party and the holiday-theme bar crawl to that get-together at your second cousin twice removed in-law's place, more often than not, you'll find yourself making small talk with those who aren't necessarily your nearest and dearest at some point.
"So many people don't like small talk," says Bela Gandhi, founder of date coaching firm Smart Dating Academy. "All friends were once strangers. Small talk is what leads to big talk."
So, how can you own a room and leave a memorable mark on everyone in attendance in a social setting?
Peter Diamond, a Chicago-based executive coach and author, says it's important to be true to yourself.
"People can spot someone who is a fake or who is trying too hard," he says. "If you're a great storyteller or you tell great jokes, those are the people where it's easy for them to become the hit of the party. People easily gravitate toward them. That's a small group of people that can really do that well. If you're not really good at doing that, it's probably not the time to try and showcase those skills."
Not everyone can, nor necessarily wants to, be the star of the show. With that in mind, experts say there are plenty of ways to go about working a room.
Josh Udashkin, founder and chief executive officer of luggage manufacturer Raden, says reading a person's body language is key.
"If someone looks like they want someone to talk to, don't be shy," he says. Conversely, "if they look like you're boring them to death, move on."
There's also the idea of, well, having a reason to interact with a complete stranger or casual acquaintance to begin with.
"I always find something in common with a person and go from there," adds Kimberly Eberl, founder and CEO of Chicago-based public relations firm Motion PR. "Appearance does matter too. Dressing smart makes you approachable and can inspire people to circle around you."
Diamond says he was recently at a party where a woman did just that.
"A woman wore a really interesting shrug," he says. "It just wrapped around her shoulder, and it was made of this faux fur, but it really stood out in the sea of other items that people were wearing. Wearing a piece of clothing or some jewelry that's a conversation starter (could be helpful)."
But being the proverbial belle of the ball at a party isn't always about making yourself the center of attention.
"Everybody's favorite subject is themselves," Gandhi says. "The best way to become a great conversationalist is to become a great listener. People that don't feel listened to, they're not going to want to talk to you anymore."
Since the host of a party tends to be the one thing everyone has in common, regardless of whether it's a family or an office shindig, Diamond recommends publicly calling attention to the host if you're unsure of what else to do.
"Give a toast to the host, especially if it's a smaller party and you can get people together," he says. "That's a great way of acknowledging the host, saying something charming and eloquent, and people will remember that. It doesn't have to be really long."
Regardless of who you're out with, it's generally a good idea, especially given the volatility of recent current events, to keep things light.
"A lot of principles about dating also apply to networking," Eberl says. "For example, you wouldn't talk about politics or religion on a first date, and you shouldn't when you're working a room. Keep it light and upbeat. We all have bad days, but don't bring negativity into the room."
But what if you're naturally an introvert who tends to loathe social settings?
Northwestern University psychology professor Bill Revelle says that's not necessarily a bad thing.
"Some feel a need to talk to everyone at the party," he says. "Others are quite happy just talking to two or three people at the party. If they have the opportunity to choose, they'll probably be talking to one or two people, and talk a lot."
But being someone who doesn't necessarily thrive in social settings with strangers doesn't always mean you're limited to picking out one or two people at a party and hoping they like you.
"Chances are a lot of the people at that party don't know many people or are interested in meeting someone new," Udashkin says. "They wouldn't be there otherwise."
"Don't give yourself the excuse that I'm shy," Gandhi says. "This is just another muscle, another skill that you can develop. If you are introverted, do more active listening. It becomes so much easier to make active conversation."
"Starting is the hardest part in almost anything in life, and I think that rings true when an introvert is tasked to network," Eberl adds. "After meeting the first couple of people, hopefully the confidence will be built, and it'll become easier to share and talk."
High Profile on 01/01/2017