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Reynolds' life proof that forgiving is best

Debbie Reynolds never knew Betty June Carson Lewis.

Reynolds, of course, is the legendary Hollywood actress and singer who was among the staggering number of show-business people who passed away in 2016. Even sadder, she died a mere day after the passing of her daughter, actress Carrie Fisher.

Betty Lewis, my mother, was among those fans who were angry after Reynolds' divorce from Eddie Fisher. Angry, that is, at Elizabeth Taylor on Reynolds' behalf. Actress Taylor will probably forever be known as the woman who broke up Reynolds' and Fisher's marriage.

We all -- well, those of a certain age, anyway -- know the story, which is now being repeated in the wake of Reynolds' Dec. 28 passing.

"At the height of her career, Reynolds was known as America's sweetheart," according to a story at the People magazine website, People.com. "Back in 1958, Reynolds and her husband, famed crooner Eddie Fisher, were among the most glamorous couples in Hollywood. The only other duo that came close to their star power also happened to be their best friends, Elizabeth Taylor and her husband, producer Mike Todd."

Everything was cool ... until a plane crash claimed Todd's life in 1958. Fisher and Taylor then got cozy, leading to his leaving Reynolds and subsequently marrying Taylor. "After the [1959] divorce, public sympathy went to Reynolds, who was left to raise the couple's two young children, Carrie and Todd, as a single mother," according to the People article.

I don't remember what prompted Mom's tirade to me about the divorce; it may have been a movie that came on starring Taylor. I do remember that even though I was a child, Mom was mad enough to vent to me -- possibly because there was no other adult in the vicinity at the time -- about her dislike for Taylor because "she took Eddie away from Debbie." (She had nothing to say about Fisher's role in the whole thing.)

I wasn't even born until three years after Eddie and Debbie parted company. Their divorce had nothing to do with us; it didn't take food out of our mouths, clothes off our backs, the roof from over our heads or otherwise inhibit our quality of life. But, by golly, I decided I, too, was mad at that hussy, Liz. Looking back, I wonder how many other children of the era went on to long-term resentment against Taylor after hearing their parents complain about her home-wrecking capabilities.

My opinion of Taylor stayed colored for a while, despite the fact that Taylor and Fisher didn't stay together either. But at some point I softened toward the eight-times-married Taylor enough to wish that she could have been found by a fellow with whom she could stay happy. Mom, who passed in 1997, must have softened toward her, too ... I seem to remember at least one Elizabeth Taylor fragrance on Mom's dresser.

Being a big proponent of -- here we go again -- forgiveness, I was humbled when I read that Reynolds went on to forgive Taylor ... a fact that somehow slipped by me until recently.

"Reynolds later told People that she put the blame mostly on her former husband," according to the People.com story. "'I felt you can't make a man leave, you can't make him do something he doesn't want to do,'" she explained. "'He obviously chose to leave, didn't he? ... He was the selfish one. She just gave him what he wanted.'" Reynolds and Taylor, who died in 2011, resumed their friendship.

"Ultimately, Reynolds credited her faith with helping her find forgiveness," the article concludes. I love the quote from Reynolds: "Love blinds all. I just had to grow up and realize that."

As Reynolds herself forgave her old "bestie," Liz, I can only hope all Reynolds' fans followed suit. I credit her with not only teaching a lesson about forgiveness but also indirectly conveying a gentle message that it's especially nonsensical to be unforgiving against someone at whom we got angry based solely on someone else's anger toward them. As enjoyable as all of Reynolds' movies, songs and shows were, I think that might be the best legacy she has left us.

More later about Debbie, Carrie and my last glimpses of them, thanks to a film festival.

Email:

hwilliams@arkansasonline.com

Style on 01/08/2017

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