DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: A couple of years ago, I had a part-time business selling blinds and window coverings. When good friends were redecorating their home, I offered to sell them window treatments at my cost, and they enthusiastically accepted. They gave me a $1,800 deposit to start the work and paid me another $1,800 when I finished. Well, recently I was going through some old papers, and I was stunned to find both checks, uncashed. I have no idea why I failed to deposit them and no idea why my friends failed to alert me that their checks hadn't cleared. So, uncertain what to do, I mailed the checks back to them, along with a note explaining how I'd just discovered them. Since then, I haven't heard from my friends, and I'm not sure what to do next. What do you think?
-- Puzzled
DEAR PUZZLED: We think your friends are hoping that the friends and family discount at your window-treatment business is 100 percent.
Of course they should have alerted you to the fact that their checks had never been cashed. And of course they should have issued a new one, paying you in full, when you returned the outdated ones to them. But when you failed to cash their checks for so long, then returned them without asking that they be replaced, you gave your friends reason to imagine you'd decided they could keep their money. More honorable people wouldn't make that assumption, and shame on these folks for doing so.
So now what do you do? Tell your friends that you're sorry for any misunderstanding you may have created, but you'd appreciate it if they would replace the uncashed and probably now-uncashable checks you returned to them. In short, ask them directly for the $3,600. If no payment is forthcoming, don't hesitate to press them. Your carelessness in misplacing the checks notwithstanding, your friends still owe you $3,600, and there is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable about insisting on being paid.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My wife wants us to start making four-figure donations to a well-known and well-regarded private preschool in our area, the purpose being to increase the odds of our 1-year-old daughter gaining admission there when she's older. Aside from being expensive, such donations strike me as unethical. Are they?
-- S.R.
DEAR S.R.: What strikes us as unethical is a school accepting substantial donations from parents seeking to curry favor. We realize this is how the process too often works. But you are absolutely right to raise an eyebrow.
Still, if you feel confident that your daughter would benefit from going to pre-K prep, it's difficult to argue that she should be denied the opportunity to attend simply because the school's admissions process is unsavory. While making donations to this place wouldn't be your finest hour, we'd be slow to criticize you for trying to do what you think is best for your child.
Please email your questions about money, ethics and relationships to
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Family on 01/18/2017