I completely geeked out on History Channel's recent special Amelia Earhart: The Lost Evidence.
Well, after watching an episode of CBS' Big Brother. It's all about balance.
Some 80 years later, we still only have competing theories and no definitive answers about the disappearance of the pioneering aviator in her attempt to circumnavigate the globe. Perhaps Earhart didn't, as the U.S. Navy quickly concluded, lose her way, run out of fuel and crash into the ocean. Maybe, as a never-seen photo that seems to show Earhart (just from the back -- is that really her? And when was it taken?) on a dock in the Japanese-controlled Marshall Islands suggests, she was taken captive -- and possibly executed -- as a suspected spy.
Watching the two-hour special made me wonder how all this might have played out if Earhart, who was born in 1897 and disappeared in 1937, had taken on such a mission in 2017.
First, we'd all be gossiping about the relationship with navigator Fred Noonan. Sure, Earhart was married to George Putnam, her book publisher and publicist who was involved in planning and financing her mission. But everyone in this nosy age would have found it juicy that a married woman was taking this flight with another man. We would have suspected this was an affair waiting for "takeoff."
And what of this Noonan? He has a bit of a checkered past that we would want to Facebook-stalk. He married his second wife two weeks (!) after a divorce. And there were the alcohol rumors (that mainly spread after his death); some suggest he had been fired from a job at Pan American Airlines for drinking. In which case, he had a bit of an "altitude" problem.
We would have known the duo's whereabouts through radar or at least paparazzi. Not to mention, every bit of their journey would have been documented with plenty of selfies and videos on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook with flattering and fun filters. Ooh, and there would be emoji and requisite goofy wordplay hashtags. Maybe #breathoffreshearhart, #weheartearhart #morningnoonannight -- anything to "lift" and "thrust" their aviation mission into the social media spotlight.
If her plane still disappeared (after all, we still don't know what happened to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a mystery since spring 2014), cable news networks would buzz about it round-the-clock -- at least until the president's next tweet. And a lengthy investigation would result. But The Lost Evidence special reveals the U.S. government closed the investigation a mere two weeks after Earhart disappeared. Only two weeks to find a missing aviator when we wouldn't give up on a lost Avon lipstick in that short amount of time? That's just "plane" wrong!
Still, if this journey took place now, maybe modern technology would have kept them out of harm's way. If the two got lost somewhere, they could have just picked up a phone and texted or called or Facetimed someone. Perhaps Siri or an Amazon Echo could have assisted -- "yaw'll" realize they know everything.
Perhaps Earhart would have returned home safely. I like to think she would have "landed" all kinds of gigs. She'd go on to win Dancing With the Stars, join Taylor Swift's squad, write a tell-all book, design a fashion line and be the subject of at least one trashy tabloid movie (unlike Amelia, that snore of a biography starring Hilary Swank in 2009). Maybe Transatlantic Attraction: The Unauthorized Amelia Earhart Story on Lifetime.
Wing it, email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 07/16/2017