I've settled on my summer guilty pleasure series.
Well, my second one. It's Daytime Divas on VH1, and it's perfectly scheduled at 9 p.m. Mondays -- right after my first trashy fave The Bachelorette on ABC.
Daytime Divas is a scripted show based on Satan's Sisters, Star Jones' 2011 novel about the behind-the-scenes drama of an all-female talk show. You know, one just like The View, the show that starred Star from 1997 until 2006 when her contract wasn't renewed.
On Divas, explains VH1.com, "the hosts of The Lunch Hour discuss life, love, politics and the juiciest gossip. But behind the scenes, it's even juicier, as the women struggle to keep their tumultuous personal lives private, and their friendly rivalries friendly -- at least while the cameras are rolling."
So saying executive producer Jones' novel and show is complete fiction would be fiction.
"I would be lying if I said that Satan's Sisters wasn't influenced by the soap opera life of daytime TV," the prosecutor-turned-TV-personality-turned-author-and-producer told Variety, adding, "All the characters are inspired, in parts, by someone I've worked with, worked for, interviewed, was interviewed by and/or even prosecuted."
So it's impossible to watch the very Lifetime-y and rather raunchy Daytime Divas (warning: view Daytime only at nighttime when kids are asleep!) without trying to figure out who is who. Here is what we've come up with:
• Maxine (played by Vanessa Williams): A longtime TV journalist at the helm of Lunch Hour, she's clearly the Barbara Walters of the group. The high-control Maxine has envisioned a show "where no topic is taboo." Except her plastic surgery, so everyone is forced to lie when she ends up in a coma during an eyebrow lift.
• Heather (Fiona Gubelmann): Maxine says she's a "real slice of American pie who puts faith and family first." We say the conservative blonde obsessed with her gluten-free diet and group prayer has to be Elisabeth Hasselbeck. We can only hope for a Rosie O'Donnell guest appearance and a split screen.
• Nina (Camille Guaty): Maxine calls her "a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist with a passion for justice." Maybe she's Lisa Ling? Only we trust that real-life Lisa is way too busy with her projects and family to be like Nina, cheating on her infertile husband (after all, Lisa has two children) with her show's producer.
• Kibby (Chloe Bridges): We thought that "sexually fluid" Kibby, tagged "the child star who is all grown up," might be Raven-Symone. Or maybe The Talk host Sara Gilbert. But then Kibby's arrest record, substance abuse and creepy, club-going mom made us think she's Lindsay Lohan. Perhaps daytime TV is really what Lohan should be doing. Nah, she's never lucid then.
• Mo (Tichina Arnold): We'd say that the feisty comedian described as "a real live wire who will crack you up while she's tearing you down" has to be Jones. Though, unlike Mo, she's way too savvy to have an affair with an underling who could record it for blackmail -- she's a lawyer, after all. Leave no evidence.
Ambitious, outrageous Mo always attempts to get the best of Maxine and therein gets the best lines. After Mo makes a joke at Maxine's expense that goes viral and their swimsuit segment turns into a shoving match, Maxine tries to fire her.
"Co-hosts come and go," she says. "I stay. It's my show."
Mo, whose video now has scores of views, shoots back, "You may have created it, boo, but right now I own it."
When Maxine lapses into a coma, her co-hosts are so concerned. About Maxine? No! About who will fill her seat in the all-powerful "left chair."
I know I'll be in my chair watching.
Send your View to:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
What's in a Dame is a weekly report from the woman 'hood. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday through Friday.
Style on 06/13/2017