DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: In preparing their wills, do people usually leave money only to their children, or do they leave it to their grandchildren, as well as their children? I'm asking because I'd like to know what to expect from my parents and my wife's parents.
-- Just Curious
DEAR CURIOUS: Wouldn't we all.
Parents typically leave their estates only to their children, most often in equal shares. In doing so, they assume that their children will in turn pass their inheritances on to the grandchildren. The larger the estate, however, the more likely people are to make bequests to their grandchildren, whether it be a dollar amount or a percentage interest in the estate. In other words, you can bet Warren Buffett is leaving money to his grandchildren, but his driver probably is not.
This said, plenty of people make other choices. Some, for example, decide to disinherit an unloving child. Some decide to leave everything in trust for a child or grandchild with special needs. And some decide that their children don't need their money and leave everything to a nonprofit that champions a cause they care about. Plus, don't forget the people who spend it all and leave nothing.
The bottom line, Curious, is this: Assume that your parents and your in-laws won't be leaving any money to you, your wife or your children, and there's no risk you'll be disappointed.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My 12-year-old daughter has a good friend, "Olivia," whose mother died earlier this year. Olivia's an only child, and her father has asked my daughter to join them on a forthcoming vacation in Hawaii so that Olivia will have a companion. The girls are, of course, very excited about the trip. But our finances are somewhat shaky right now, and I'm wondering what our contribution ought to be toward paying our daughter's way. Olivia's father has offered to foot the whole bill for our daughter, but is that proper?
-- J.D.
DEAR J.D.: Clearly, Olivia's father very much wants your daughter to come along on this vacation, and he knows he's seeking a favor in asking you to let her do so -- a favor he hopes to return by paying her way. But as well-intended as his offer may be, allowing him to pick up the entire tab for your daughter would be wrong. No one should have to pay thousands of dollars for the pleasure of your daughter's company, and you wouldn't want your daughter to think that they did. (Even a 12-year-old can tell who's paying for what.) So, while a lot depends on what you believe Olivia's father's financial resources to be and on just how shaky yours are right now, at least insist on paying for some significant portion of your daughter's expenses -- for example, her airline tickets. Then make sure your daughter has a thoughtful gift to give her hosts. And finally, reciprocate, reciprocate, reciprocate. Your house may not be on a beach on Maui, but we're guessing sleepovers at your place would be a welcome respite for Olivia from the house her mother used to live in.
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Family on 06/21/2017