TV tonight offers harmless silliness followed by post-apocalyptic terror. Depending on your mood, you can pick one or watch both.
• Battle of the Network Stars, 8 p.m. today on ABC. Surprise! This revival is not hosted by Steve Harvey. Maybe he does sleep after all.
Battle of the Network Stars originally ran 19 times on ABC between 1976 and 1988 with Howard Cosell as the main host. That series featured ABC, CBS and NBC teams battling it out in such events as swimming, kayaking, volleyball, golf, tennis and bowling.
The reboot hosts are ESPN's Mike Greenberg and Joe Tessitore. ESPN's Cassidy Hubbarth and Cari Champion will be the sideline reporters, and Super Bowl 50 winner DeMarcus Ware and former UFC champion Ronda Rousey will be the team captains.
The celebrities (of varying degrees of fame) are stars of current shows such as Modern Family and Scandal, as well as aging celebs from "classic" series such as The Incredible Hulk and CHiPS.
That's right. We may very well witness 65-year-old Lou Ferrigno take on 68-year-old Erik Estrada in the dunk tank. Other competition will involve such activity as tug of war, archery, kayak relay and obstacle course.
It'll be good to see some of our old favorites again. For example, 58-year-old Charlene Tilton (Dallas) is on the Famous TV Families team, and 65-year-old Parker Stevenson (Baywatch) will compete with the TV Lifeguards team.
• Zoo, 9 p.m. today, CBS. Season 3 of the sci-fi thriller based on the best-seller by James Patterson is set in the year 2027 when the global crisis has reached a critical point.
To recap, Zoo deals with the aftermath of a violent pandemic that resulted in coordinated animal attacks on humans around the world. The animals were cured in Season 2, but the price was the sterilization of the human race. Now, a decade later, a new threat comes in the form of (wait for it) ... killer hybrids!
Yep. Things are about to get dicey when "an army of unstoppable lab-made creatures hell-bent on destroying mankind arrives."
An ordinary hybrid is bad enough, but there's nothing worse than a hell-bent hybrid.
I haven't reviewed any episodes, but the trailers show a ruined city landscape and some sort of wolf/lion thing, a rhino-esque critter and a sort of vulture/eagle. Expect lots of nifty computer-generated imagery this season.
The series stars Hilary Jardine as Tessa and James Wolk as zoologist Jackson Oz. Jardine (Van Helsing) is new to the series this season and will play Jackson's girlfriend. She is instrumental in helping refugees to safety.
Nonso Anozie plays Jackson's safari guide buddy Abraham Kenyatta, and Alyssa Diaz is Abraham's ex-special forces wife, Dariela Marzan.
In the last episode, Abraham came across veterinary pathologist Mitch Morgan's 21-year-old daughter Clementine Lewis (Gracie Dzienny), who revealed that Mitch (Billy Burke) isn't dead after all. He's still very much alive and working on a solution to the sterilization problem.
CBS teases: "You can run, but you can't hide. As the planet's future hangs in the balance, the team must race to stop the hybrids and their creator -- a shadowy figure with a startling connection to the team's past."
• Never mind. Remember when filming of ABC's Bachelor in Paradise was shut down in early June following allegations of sexual assault? America held its breath while production company Warner Bros. investigated.
The allegations surfaced after a female producer reportedly filed a complaint stating former Bachelor babe Corinne Olympios was too drunk to consent to former Bachelorette dude DeMario Jackson's advances while the show was taping around the pool.
The couple had what Variety characterized as "a sexual encounter fueled by heavy drinking."
I'm amazed that this hasn't happened before on such a sleazy show, which puts randy, macho guys and hot, bikini-clad gals in an exotic resort where the booze flows freely and physical intimacy is encouraged for our voyeuristic viewing pleasure.
The investigation, conducted by the powerhouse Los Angeles law firm of Munger, Tolles & Olson, found, "The tape does not support any charge of misconduct by a cast member. Nor does the tape show, contrary to many press reports, that the safety of any cast member was ever in jeopardy."
There you have it. Nothing to see here. Kindly move along. ABC says the series will resume production, and air later this summer.
The TV Column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. Email:
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Weekend on 06/29/2017