OPINION

How to toe the line

So you are an ardent supporter of President Donald Trump. And you are thinking of applying for one of the hundreds of available positions the president is supposed to fill. Because these are jobs with hefty salaries and responsibility, we are here to help.

In the spirit of patriotism, here are the suggested White House responses for questions you might get from jealous others as you pursue your new career.

Q: If Trump is such a good negotiator, why is the administration talking of a pre-emptive strike against North Korea, even though this would risk retaliation that could cost thousands if not millions of South Korean lives?

A: North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un must be taught who is the boss of the world. Sometimes the end justifies the means.

Q: Isn't it awkward that FBI director James Comey testified former President Barack Obama did not order any wiretapping of Trump, despite Trump's tweets to the contrary? Shouldn't Trump apologize for falsely accusing his predecessor of a felony?

A: Of course not. As president, Trump is never required to say he's sorry. That would be showing weakness. The president is not weak.

Q: Having promised to drain the swamp, shouldn't Trump release his tax returns to prove he is not going to use the White House to increase his family's wealth?

A: Nope. Trump's aides must not have conflicts of interest, but it is legal for the president to make money while president. Really. Look it up!

Q: Trump promised he would not take the $400,000 presidential salary, so why is the U.S. Treasury sending him checks?

A: He certainly doesn't need the money, but he is taking it so that possibly, at the end of the year, he may donate some of it to charity. He is generous.

Q: The media has been essential for Trump's rise, giving him billions of dollars in free publicity. Trump even cites news media reports to try to prove he is not lying and not breaking his promises. Clearly, he loves media attention. So why does he keep disparaging the media, calling it "fake news"?

A: Oh, come on. It's getting harder to blame everything on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

Q: Trump mocked Obama for vacationing in Hawaii, but Trump has spent millions more in two months flying at taxpayer expense to his Florida resort than Obama spent in a year. How do we explain that?

A: We don't have to explain anything. This president is working so hard he needs a break every four days or so.

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Ann McFeatters is an op-ed columnist for Tribune News Service.

Editorial on 03/24/2017

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