I talked to two women last week who have had very different experiences with their mothers.
One woman said she hasn’t talked to her mother in weeks. They have had one falling out after another through the years, and this daughter said it’s better if she just isn’t around her mother.
Another woman talked to me when I was at her mother’s home to do a story. The woman talked about the respect and admiration she has for her mother. This woman is successful in her own right, and they have a big, close-knit family.
Mothers can’t take all the credit, or all the blame, for how their children turn out, but I don’t think anyone can deny mothers make a big impact on their children’s lives. I read a study the other day that said children get their intelligence from their mothers. My younger son immediately discounted that when I mentioned it, because he said he is so good at math, and I am not.
So happy he inherited my bluntness.
Which, come to think of it, I inherited from my mother.
We don’t get to choose our mothers, and I think sometimes I might take for granted how great mine is. Growing up, my friends all liked my mother. For one thing, she was younger than all the other mothers. And she was — and is —fun and funny.
Not that we don’t get on each other’s nerves sometimes. Truth be told, it’s probably because we’re too much alike (although I have never driven with both feet; she finally broke that habit).
She never let me get away with doing anything halfway.
“If you’re gonna do it, do it right,” she always said. Her house-cleaning abilities are legendary.
But No. 1, my mother is a good person.
She always supported the underdog — teaching special education for 35 years, and especially caring about the most vulnerable students. She would go to bat for them, even if it meant putting herself out on a limb to get them what they needed, whether it was extra help at school or dental work.
Since she’s retired, she’s found a lot of outlets for helping people. She worked for a while at a thrift store that used its proceeds to help victims of domestic violence. She is involved in a program that provides Christmas and birthday gifts for the homeless, and she helped with a spa day for homeless women. The other day, she filled boxes at a food bank. She said they’re going to the elderly, and she told me everything they put in the boxes (and was so excited that the last few boxes got extra peanut butter). She served as the photographer of the group, and she texted me pictures.
Then she has her Bible study, church with dad, book club and trips to theater performances with her friends, and taking care of my brother’s boys, 6 and 2, as often as she can — and sending lots of videos and pictures of them.
She can’t wait to be a great-grandmother. (As of this writing on Thursday morning, baby Kennedy is due any day.)
Mom will be a wonderful great-grandmother, just like she has been a wonderful grandmother and mother.
I can’t say it enough — thanks for everything, Mom.
Senior writer Tammy Keith can be reached at (501) 327-0370 or tkeith@arkansasonline.com.