I am thankful for the editors who read what I write and remove repetition.
Some writers, though, go too far to avoid using the same word more than once.
That happens often when one is writing about a place. It's tough not to repeat the name of the place again and again. It is, after all, the name.
People writing about Arkansas sometimes try to change up things by calling it "the Natural State" or "the Land of Opportunity."
Some may be inclined to call Washington, D.C., "our nation's capital" or "the city on the Potomac.''
One problem: Few people in real life talk that way.
Next weekend, we thought we'd drive to our nation's capital to see that marble structure that honors the Great Emancipator. Or maybe we'll walk to that obelisk for the Father of Our Country.
In addition to sounding a little goofy, you give yourself away as not being from that city. Chicago is nicknamed "The Windy City" and the "City of the Big Shoulders," but you would have trouble finding a native who calls it either of those. Likewise for saying "the Big Apple" in New York City or the "City of Angels" in Los Angeles.
The same goes for people. When H. Ross Perot ran for president in 1992, it was difficult to find a news story that didn't call him "the jug-eared Texas billionaire."
DOES NOT FOLLOW ...
A nonsequitur, another quirk of writing about a person, occurs when a sentence or phrase doesn't logically follow what comes before or after it. It sometimes happens because you have so many facts that you want to include that you connect them in odd ways. Some examples:
Born in St. Louis, she lives in a two-bedroom condo in Virginia Beach.
The youngest of three boys, he bikes 20 miles a day.
A former librarian, he is skilled at vegetarian cooking.
Having graduated from Cornell, he loves watching the Redskins.
These may work better:
Born in St. Louis, she didn't see the ocean until she was 17.
Born into a family of athletes, he bikes 20 miles a day.
A former librarian, he says, "Shhh" a lot.
Having graduated from Cornell, he would love for his son to go there, too.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
Be careful about where you mention the timing of things.
Wrong: Cordelia moved to Virginia Beach with her late husband in 1980.
I suppose she may have brought her husband's ashes with her, but more likely she moved to Virginia Beach in 1980 when her husband was still alive.
Better: Cordelia and her husband moved to Virginia Beach in 1980. He died in 1992.
Confusing: The teachers agreed to talk about the hazing incident Saturday.
This could mean the incident happened Saturday, or the teachers will talk about it on Saturday.
Better: The teachers agreed to talk Saturday about the hazing incident.
Sources: grammarist.com, m-w.com, grammar-monster.com, Current English Usage by Wood, Flavell and Flavell
Reach Bernadette at
bkwordmonger@gmail.com
ActiveStyle on 10/09/2017