Spin Cycle

Name that hurricane: Next up?

With so much attention on Harvey, Irma and Jose lately, perhaps you've wondered how storms get their names?

Is there a consortium of mothers somewhere selecting them? A group of everyday, noncelebrity moms assigning the mostly normal names -- for example, Arlene, Bret, Cindy, Don and Emily this year -- instead of Bronx Mowgli and Jagger Snow (Ashlee Simpson); Kingston, Zuma Nesta Rock and Apollo Bowie Flynn (Gwen Stefani); and Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence (Uma Thurman)?

Why are some female, and some male, and how is this determined? Somewhere are there storm gender-revealing parties with color-coded cake? Was there a blue one before Franklin and a pink one before Gert -- the Atlantic hurricanes that preceded Harvey.

There's a formula (not to be confused with actual baby formula). They're in alphabetical order. And they rotate (ugh, please no more talk of rotation for a long time to come) male-female-male-female:

Harvey

Irma

Jose

Ohhhh! No, sorry O isn't the next letter. It's K for Katia, then L for Lee, M for Maria, N for Nate and so forth.

Here's another helping of alphabet soup: the WMO -- World Meteorological Organization -- controls these lists of tropical cyclone names (which once were only female; male names were added in 1979). On the Caribbean Sea, Gulf of Mexico and the North Atlantic Names roster, there are six lists that then repeat, which means the 2017 list will be revisited in 2023.

But don't ever expect to see storms named Harvey or Irma. They've worn out their welcome and will never darken and dampen our neighbors' paths again.

According to the WMO site: "The only time that there is a change in the list is if a storm is so deadly or costly that the future use of its name on a different storm would be inappropriate for reasons of sensitivity. If that occurs ... the offending name is stricken from the list and another name is selected to replace it."

Such retired hurricanes include Andrew (1992), Katrina, Rita, Wilma (2005), Ike (2008) and Sandy (2012).

As we're about halfway through this year's list of storm names, it's worth asking what happens if Ophelia, Philippe, Rina, Sean, Tammy, Vince and Whitney all show up uninvited. Says the WMO site: "In the event that more than twenty-one named tropical cyclones occur in the Atlantic basin in a season, additional storms will take names from the Greek alphabet," beginning with Alpha and ending with Omega.

It raises the question: How do parents avoid naming their child for a future devastating storm? Sure, it was endearing when stories about that elderly married couple Harvey (age 104) and Irma (his child bride of 93; the two have been married 75 years) recently went viral. But they're toward the end of their lives. Not so with your future kiddos.

(I'll apologize now to my cat Kate, whose name could lose its cuteness in 2021 when it's on the Atlantic list. As for cat Pippa, she's good -- that name does not appear and will keep its charm. So that's a name you can use! Same with Jennifer -- it does not appear! Of course it already lost its appeal due to overuse decades ago.)

For starters, study the list of available retired Atlantic storm names (tinyurl.com/retiredstormynames) and select one that happened so long ago that it shouldn't stir up bad thoughts. For example, by now, Fifi (1974) should probably be just fi-fine.

Then study the six lists of Atlantic names at tinyurl.com/stormynames and avoid calling children any of those 126 names. That might be challenging, as so many common male (Michael, Richard, William) and female (Erin, Rebekah, Sara) names appear. Still, this might also help you avoid undesirable family names on the list. "Sorry, Memaw Bertha/Papaw Earl, we can't name the baby after you because ... storms."

Name your child something beginning with an X, Y or Z, as no such names appear on the Atlantic list. Think Xina and Xavier, York and Yolanda and Zelda and Zeke. Or maybe don't. These names do appear on the Eastern North Pacific Names list. And often. They rotate every other year. Instead of every six years, your child will face storm name potential every two years. Use Xtreme caution.

Or name your children something that begins with a Q or U, as there are no such names on the list. That's of course because no names -- besides maybe Quincy and Ulysses -- begin with those letters. So you'll have to make such names quite unique and uncommon.

Quite, Unique and Uncommon -- there are three names right there!

Our prayers are with all those affected by recent hurricanes.

Email:

jchristman@arkansasonline.com

Spin Cycle is a smirk at pop culture. You can hear Jennifer on Little Rock's KURB-FM, B98.5 (B98.com), from 5:30 to 9 a.m. Monday through Friday

Style on 09/17/2017

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