This year really puts the "lent" in Valentine's Day.
For the first time since 1945, Valentine's Day -- occurring this Wednesday -- happens to fall on Ash Wednesday, the first day of lent for Christian denominations, including Anglican, Catholic, Lutheran and Methodist.
Lent is the solemn six-week period during which Christians are called to repentance, prayer, self-control ... and giving up sugar and/or Diet Dr Pepper (my usual offerings). Ash Wednesday -- when we'll have ashes marked on our forehead and are reminded of what God told sinners Adam and Eve prior to their Garden of Eden banishment (Genesis 3:19, "For dust you are and to dust you shall return") -- is day of penitence.
So chocolate truffles, champagne and passion don't exactly fit the bill.
Nor does filet mignon. For the Catholic Church, not only is it a day of fasting for parishioners, who are "permitted to eat one full meal, as well as two smaller meals that together are not equal to a full meal," according to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. It's also a day of abstinence from meat. According to the Code of Canon Law: "The law of abstinence binds those who have completed their fourteenth year. The law of fasting binds those who have attained their majority, until the beginning of their sixtieth year." (Note: There's nothing in here against sending flowers. Ahem.)
And while we're permitted to eat fish and shellfish on Ash Wednesday (as well as Fridays during Lent, including Good Friday, which is also a day of fasting), we're supposed to think sacrifice. Canned fish. Tuna noodle casserole. Fish sticks. Lavish meals of lobster and flaming sushi rolls aren't exactly what is intended.
It creates a bit of a predicament for those of us who want to practice our faith and celebrate our affection. In other words: women. We're confident most men are thrilled for any excuse for a commercialized romance reprieve; they'll never look so happy to go to church and eat cheap as they will this Wednesday.
As of press time, Bishop Anthony Taylor of the Catholic Diocese of Little Rock hadn't released official guidance on the subject of Ash Wednesday with regard to Valentine's Day. Taylor did not grant a corned-beef dispensation last year when St. Patrick's day fell on an abstinence Friday. So we don't expect him to grant any kind of Godiva dispensation for Valentine's Day.
A quick call to the Arkansas Catholic provided insight. Sweet, straightforward Rose Harrigan, the circulation manager, who answered the phone, offered this advice: "Go to church, don't eat meat and abstain."
That is the Catholic way. And lent is when we repent, not relent.
Still, gents, Ash Wednesday, doesn't mean you get a pass. If you didn't already pre-plan and whisk us away for an early Valentine's weekend, you still have plenty of time to cupid up.
You can take us out for a fancy, lovey brunch today. After church, of course.
You can cook a gourmet dinner for us Monday night while we watch The Bachelor and Vanderpump Rules (for which we'll pray for forgiveness on Ash Wednesday).
You can morph Fat Tuesday with Valentine's Day (how cute would a customized heart-shaped King Cake be?). Take us out for crawfish, shrimp and grits and po'boys. Just don't act like a po'boy -- plastic Mardi Gras beads are not going to suffice as a jewelry gift.
If you don't get it right, you won't have to wait 73 more years to redeem yourself. In 2024 and 2029 Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day will fall on the very same day yet again.
And while we're on the subject of holy days and holidays, allow me to give you the heads up that Easter Sunday and April Fool's Day both fall on April 1 of this year. Because of that, we do not need to go to church.
Just fooling.
Send a hearty email:
jchristman@arkansasonline.com
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.
Style on 02/11/2018